If you’ve ever wondered what The Fast and The Furious and Death Race franchises would look like if they were crossed together, keep wondering. The Asylum, the production company behind such gems as Sharknado and Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark, proudly presents its latest addition to the international world of cinema, the steaming turd pile that is Jared Cohn’s ingeniously titled Fast and Fierce: Death Race. A more fitting title would have been Slow and Boring: Death Crawl.
Ex-street-racer Jack (Michael DeVorzon) is living out his exile at a junkyard in Mexico when his younger brother Nelson (Jack Pearson) comes asking to bail his sorry as* out of trouble. Jack has to participate in the notorious Outlaw Race (“This year it’s Mexico to LA,” Nelson proclaims), so that big, bad boss Davie (rapper/actor/convict extraordinaire DMX) doesn’t kill Nelson. “You got some balls asking me that,” Jack exclaims. “I’m retired, man!” A second later, they’re on their way to the race.
“Jack has to participate in the notorious Outlaw Race…”
In one of the many cases of the film repeating itself, Davie tells Jack, “Your brother owes me a lot of money. But if he wins this race, his debt will be paid.” Jack embarks on the 1,000 mile-race against the warm-hearted Nina (Becca Buckalew) and the callous, arrogant Mick (Nate Walker), while Davie and Nelson observe them on shoddy 1990’s-era GPS screens.
Of course, complications arise. At a rest stop, the desperate Bianca (Paulina Nguyen) hops into Jack’s car – here the power of the cinematic Ex Machina kicks in – who happens to be Davie’s ex, and who happens to have incriminating USB drives that could send him to prison. Now, Jack has to transport Bianca safely to Los Angeles – only to encounter further obstacles, such as Davie getting arrested by Mexican authorities and Bianca’s daughter being kidnapped. It all culminates in a Mexican stand-off of sorts.
"…DMX either murmurs his lines incomprehensibly or barks them out like he’s in a rap video"