Condorman

Charles Jarrott’s fantasy spy-thriller, Condorman, came at a time when the Walt Disney Company was still reeling creatively after the deaths of Walt and Roy. The Michael Crawford-starring film was the company’s attempt to appeal to the James Bond/comic book audience and rebuild its brand.

Woodrow “Woody” Wilkins (Michael Crawford) is a fun, easy-going comic book creator who bases too much of his stories on reality. For example, with his most popular character, Condorman, Woody designs himself a pair of Condorman wings and jumps off the Eiffel Tower. Mid-flight, the wings break, and he plummets into the river. Though dejected, Woody pushes through thanks to the support of his CIA friend, Harry (James Hampton).

Rising through the ranks of the CIA, Harry has a job that requires the simple act of switching out papers with spies in Istanbul. The operation requires an everyman, and Harry convinces Woody that his ingenuity and creativity would make him the perfect “spy.” Looking for more excitement and real adventure, Woody says yes.

While in Istanbul, fake agent Woody meets Natalia (Barbara Carrera), who he thinks is a civilian but is actually a Soviet spy (criss-cross). When bad guys suddenly appear, Woody reveals to Natalia that he is the secret spy, Condorman, and rescues the beautiful Natalia. In reality, the betwixt Natalia has fallen for Woody and risks everything to save his life.

Just as enamored with Natalia, Woody creates a new comic book hero based on her called “Laser Lady.” Now, on the run, Woody and Natalia are being chased by Natalia’s old boss, Krokov (Oliver Reed). Woody’s flamboyance easily gives away their location forcing Natalia to choose between being with Woody or leaving him and thus saving his life.

“…Woody reveals to Natalia that he is the secret spy, Condorman, and rescues the beautiful Natalia.”

In 1981, I was very much a diehard Disney fan. I never saw Condorman until now, and I was right back then to have skipped it. First, the entire story felt like it was created in a board room. “We need a hit! People love spies and comic books!—winning formula.” It may have felt like they were appealing to a broad audience, but when you combine two disparate genres, they clash more with one another than succeed. Let me explain.

Remove the story, and Condorman is about an every man who becomes a spy. While watching James Bond, Roger Moore was not an every man then. His good looks, swagger, and machismo were something we aspired to be. I like Michael Crawford from Phantom, Hello Dolly, and Barnum. He looks like me. Has my body and physical prowess, which is average. The sentiment held true then as it does now. I don’t need to see myself on screen, I need to see an ideal version of myself. I’d take Moore over Crawford every day.

The second is clashing genres. When a film tries to combine genres, it rarely takes what we love about those genres and makes a great movie. Instead, it takes elements of the genre that lend themselves to simple storytelling, leaving you with the bland elements of the genre rather than the best.

In the case of Condorman, we have fights and car chases. For Disney, these are scaled-down safe fights and car chases. We also have a hero in Woody, who makes great inventions, but they don’t work for the sake of comedy. We have a story of misconceptions regarding the true identities of Woody and Natalia, but they are played for Disney laughs for the family and a heartwarming message at the end. It all comes across as bland.

Condorman feels like Disney’s awkward attempt to blend spy thrills with comic book fun, but it ends up being more bland than bold. As much as I love Michael Crawford, his everyman charm just doesn’t fit the spy genre’s need for swagger and style. In the end, this 1981 flick feels like a misstep—a film that’s more a forgettable experiment than a hidden gem.