BRAIN BLOCKERS

Horror comedy isn’t exactly one of the easiest genre crosses to make. Trying to make people laugh in the midst of bloodshed, or horrifying them in the midst of comedy, is a combination that’s difficult to pull off. After all, when you’re laughing, it’s tough to be scared. And when you’re scared, it’s hard to laugh.

“Brain Blockers”, sadly, will manage neither.

Basically, a college professor’s engaging in some far-from-standard research. This sort of thing never ends well, and the streak is going to continue with “Brain Blockers”. And in its stated goals, frankly, “Brain Blockers” is a full-on failure.

As a horror movie, it’s dry, trite, and thoroughly bland. It takes almost a quarter of the film for the first body to hit the floor. And I don’t find exploding hamsters very scary, for that matter.

As a comedy, it fails to spark much laughter, the jokes–assuming there are jokes–are tough to spot, and what jokes are readily apparent are generally flops. And I don’t find exploding hamsters very funny, for that matter.

“Brain Blockers” ascends to the level of complete failure when, about halfway through, they resort to whipping out the boobs. Which, as we’re all well aware, is the greatest sign of a failing horror film. Skin in horror is the fastest, simplest way to distract from a horror movie that isn’t scary. Then again, it also works for a comedy that isn’t funny.

Okay, I take that back. The fight scene between the mostly naked girl and her roommate is actually pretty damn funny, mostly because they’re completely incompetent. This isn’t a fight, this is just bad acting. And when they both explode in a shower of bad CG, well, it’s just the icing on this truly craptacular cake.

At least until they decide to ice the icing with the last twenty minutes, as fight scenes of spectacular incompetence spring up out of control throughout a frat party.

All in all, wow. I haven’t seen such a truly magnificent failure in such a long time. It’s a horror comedy that completely fails to be either scary or funny! “Brain Blockers” is a sad and sorry showcase that will prove to be a complete waste of an hour and a half.