NOW ON PLEX! An ill wind is breaking over the infamous Amityville house in the punk fart movie Amityvillenado, written and directed by Paul Tucker and Jeff Van Gerwen. Two goth chicks sneak into the old Amityville house for a photo shoot. Suddenly, a freak tornado touches down and takes the famous haunted house away with it. This freaks out Amityville native Trey (Trey Ball) when he hears the news on the radio while returning to town with his buddy Jib (Jib Hadden). He grew up obsessed with the legendary local attraction ,and had planned to show it to Jib while in town for the Skullcrusher show.
Jib has no interest in seeing the Amityville house. He just wants to relax and get out of the car, as Trey has uncontrollable gas from the burritos he keeps eating off the car floor. The lot where the Amityville house stood is now empty, it having been whisked away. However, local weather woman June Weathers (Elizabeth McCoy), feels this storm was highly unusual and tries to alert the public. Meanwhile, freak tornadoes start appearing in Amityville, leaving behind corpses whose souls have been sucked out. Trey and Jib team up with Officer Dick Lipshitz (Clay Aleman) and June to try to find out what evil is blowing now through the skies of Amityville.
It states in the credits that the filmmakers set out to make a “diarrhea tornado” movie. This would be somewhat new territory, because after all the sequel angles for Amityville pictures, we have yet to see Amityville Fart Joke or Amityville S**t House, unless you count the James Woods opening in Scary Movie 2. Wait no more, as Amityvillenado delivers both of those concepts at once. There are some really funny things about the film. Using the same opening-credits style as The Wizard of Oz was funny. Having the Amityville house represented by a vacant field because the tornado took it is funny. There is one gag near the end that had me doubled over.
“…freak tornadoes start appearing in Amityville, leaving behind corpses whose souls have been sucked out.”
However, the rest of the laughs are a brown colored tidal wave of toilet humor. I don’t want to yuck someone else’s yum, but I cannot yum a yuck that is done on purpose. The constant fixation on butt breeze gets exhausting, when you are the one who has to sit through it. Even if you think flatulence is rib tickling, and you love to see people engulfed by a*s clouds, you will be still gassed out on this expedition. In their movie, Tucker and Van Gerwen set a record for the amount of farts you can beat out of a dead horse
So why does a movie begging for a bad review get a pass by the skin of their anus here? It is because I appreciate that Amityvillenado gives us a punk rock version of an Amityville movie. It even has a scene with a TV News headline stating 80 punk rockers dead at a concert. The fact that it is a new school punk will make a lot of people besides me happy. I have always stepped aside the whole old school/new school argument in the punk arena, as I figure any punk is better than no punk at all. The fact that I hate everything new school with the fury of a thousand grease fires is besides the point. Too happy, too poppy, too bad. Have fun, all you kids in your 30s.
The real reason to suffer through Amityvillenado is this heartbreakingly brilliant shadow puppet sequence at the hour and 33 minute mark. Reminiscent of the recent Candyman reboot, there are cut out silhouettes that are used to reenact the early history of the Amityville house. It may be the best sequence ever seen in a fake Amityville sequel and, honestly, deserves a better movie to wrap around it. As it goes, the film is like a waste polluted beach that reeks of sewage but has a really nice sunset. Many will find it nauseating, but that is the point. If you love vomiting to new school punk tunes, Amityvillenado is the outhouse party you have been waiting for.
Learn more at the official Anytyvillenado website.
"…gives us a punk rock version of an Amityville movie."
