Is Bill Zebub The World’s Most Offensive Filmmaker?

You skewer religion, horror movies, Jesus, metal fans and Sesame Street characters in your films. Is there any topic off-limits?

I don’t think that anything is off limits to me if my intention is to ask “why” or “what if” — there is never any malice in what I do. When something is considered sacred, then there can be no criticism.  This not only makes improvement impossible — it also leads to abuse of power.  

Your work is not porn, but there is a healthy dose of nudity. Care to offer advice on how indie filmmakers should approach nudity respectfully and professionally on a low budget film?

I give all males a sexual harassment speech before they are allowed on my set. This was actually in Assmonster because I wanted to show how important it is. One of the things I say is “Never tell any woman that she looks hot. It’s not a compliment, especially when she is nude.” I also make it clear not to respond to any flirting. Many of the actresses flirt as a way to make the environment fun, but they don’t mean it.  

I have developed friendships with some of the actresses, and the comfort level about certain jokes behind the scenes has been 100% approved — some of these actresses love my idea of bloopers as “Things a director shouldn’t say.”  

I despise the peers who fail to understand that they are effectively the woman’s boss, and that in the real world they would probably not have conversations with women that are amazing.  I have been nauseated by the pigs who flirt with their actresses. In some cases they hook up. I state that I am not delusional. I know what my movies look like, and I know what I look like. I look upon my cast as team members, not as easy hook-ups. In fact, if I become attracted to a woman who has a kissing scene with me, I don’t film the kissing scene. This happened a few times. It is natural — spending time with a person sometimes brings about feelings, but when that happens, no contact. It’s cheating. I won’t do that. A true kiss should never be purchased.

What do you consider your master work?

I don’t think in that way. I don’t have a favorite anything. My mood dictates what I love in that moment. If you ask me about my masterpiece, it is my future Frankenstein movie. I finally realized that it must be an arthouse movie. It isn’t horror, and isn’t a narrative. Honestly, I am afraid to make it. It is the most research that I have ever poured into an idea. It is a true labor of love, and I have considered myself unworthy of attempting it, but I know that I should at least make the movie according to the principle of using what I have. The fear is mostly in failing the intense emotion. I want viewers to weep, not to laugh.

“You’re talking to a guy who is considered to be the most inept director of all time…”

What are you working on now?

I am filming Dickless Zombies, which began as my way of ridiculing blind conformity, but the virus situation and the rioters added fuel to the creativity. This movie is meant to be enjoyed as an absurd horror parody, and if a viewer wants to decipher the symbols, then he or she is free to do so. I don’t want to provide any heavy-handed messages. My movies don’t tell people what to think — they only require a person to chew on ideas.  

I am also developing Trapped in a Stupid American Movie which is like Dante’s “Inferno” except that instead of walking through circles of hell and having a guide to explain the torments, the main character goes through genres of movies, and his European nature changes the reality of the American movies. This came to me when I was comparing American science fiction, which is really just action movies that have lasers and robots, to the European counterpart, which actually has science. Of course, there are exceptions  to both sides, but I found the main idea to be amusing. I also plan to make a few slasher movies, to challenge myself.

And finally, who would win in a fight, Jesus Christ or Superman?

If I were to abide by the mythology, Jesus is only here so that he could die on a cross at a time of his choosing, so whatever Superman would do to him would probably be nullified because it violates the Jesus-Superman Paradox. Bear in mind that there is also a resurrection, and even if there is no vengeance from Jesus at that time, he might be a smug a*****e on the Day of Judgment. Superman would have to rely on something other than his strength. He could use his X-ray vision when Jesus is voluntarily crucified. Everyone else in history was crucified naked as an extra torment by humiliation, but Jesus has a fashionable loincloth. Superman could use his X-ray vision to reveal that Jesus is a hermaphrodite. After all, God is all things, so he should be male and female. This could dismay the worshippers, or at least anger them that Jesus kept that secret and pretended that it was okay to discriminate against women in the later hierarchy of churches.  

WARNING: See Bill Zebub’s films at your own risk. You have been warned. And check out the Kickstarter for his latest project Zombie.