INDIE GIRL Q&A WITH HEIDI VAN LIER: HOW TO SPOT AN INDIE FILMMAKER

Question:
How the f*** can I differentiate between studio filmmakers and indie filmmakers?

Answer:
Easy, studio filmmakers make money. But aside from that, if you can’t ask for someone’s bank records, I’ve put together yet another list. This time the list will help you tell who’s who without much effort.

30 WAYS TO SPOT AN INDIE FILMMAKER:

1. Drives a car predating HD.
2. Rarely travels with children, except when they need to borrow a nephew or niece for a shoot.
3. Unmarried or divorced. (indie film kills all relationships.)
4. Been to Europe – but only to places like Oldenburg and Stockholm.
5. More likely to be seen at the Starbucks at 8000 Sunset than the Starbucks at the Grove.
6. Always has screenings to go to…in a friend’s living room.
7. Shows up at all festival parties where there is free alcohol and food.
8. Has been to the lobbies of WME and CAA and ICM…when dropping off scripts.
9. Is a “pocket client.”
10. Rarely knows the names of A-List actors in films that came out this year.
11. Probably did not attend USC or NYU film school.
12. Knows how to buy a camera, shoot an entire film, and then return the camera for a full refund, within 30 days.
13. Believes a stolen shopping cart is worth the same amount as a $50,000 piece of equipment.
14. Says they hate reality tv but both watches it and takes jobs the minute they’re offered.
15. Has a very high tolerance for Stella Artois.
16. Owns strange computer bags, backpacks and shopping bags that have the names of small towns you’ve never heard of from all across the country.
17. Sighs with longing when someone says the words “gifting suites.”
18. Knows that a Rush Line has nothing to do with “rushing.”
19. Owns several filmmaking books, but hasn’t really read any of them.
20. Can name that aspect ratio with the flash of only one frame.
21. Has roommates – occasionally known as “relatives.”
22. Still has a credit card that daddy may or may not still be paying for.
23. Knows how to sneak into agencies and production companies.
24. Does not know what to say when an agent asks, “What are you working on right now?”
25. When asked about sudden weight gain, responds, “Editing.”
26. When asked about sudden weight loss, responds, “Handheld.”
27. Has a story about being stuck in a car in a Park City blizzard with a celebrity.
28. Believes they will one day soon get to meet Robert Redford.
29. Often questions their ability, but only to friends who aren’t in the business.
30. Has owned a piece of clothing for 10 years, that looks like it has never been worn, that they call their “Sundance jacket.”

LA FILM FESTIVAL STARTS THIS WEEK! SEE YOU THERE!
I’m excited to see the new cut of How to Cheat by Amber Sealy!

Heidi Van Lier is a filmmaker living in Los Angeles. She has directed 3 feature films, with another one on the way. Her first film, Chi Girl, won the Slamdance Film Festival in 1999. She has written a film school textbook called The Indie Film Rule Book, available on Amazon.com. She has been a programmer for the Slamdance Film Festival, and on juries and panels at countless festivals around the country. She has an expensive 8-year-old daughter, send help.