Great, here’s The Bride. Hey look, that’s kind of like Gulliver’s Travels. And those figurines coming after her. A hint of “Toy Story”? The obvious and brain-sputtering homages aside, why would a woman like this date a Star Wars fan? She’s angrily peeved over him still playing with these toys and yet not bothering to get her a diamond ring and whatever else bitchy women like her want. Didn’t she see it in fine print that this guy was a Star Wars fan and would always be that way no matter what became of his life? It’s in the mind and in the blood and it doesn’t come out as easily as a coffee stain.
This doesn’t seem so much a Star Wars fan film as a hate-filled rant against everything Star Wars. Played as the worst kind of comedy imaginable, which includes her being knocked out by a tiny R2-D2 figurine, this woman is really, really, really against all things that the trilogies stand for. And it would be funnier if she was, oh maybe another type of woman or even the obligatory Star Trek fan. But we’re stuck with this psycho broad, and it’s not so much the figurines battling against her and eventually being sucked into a vacuum that gets me. It’s more that she’s the most outlandish human cartoon character I’ve seen in a very long time. She possesses the kind of psychotic nature that would cause even Yosemite Sam to say, “Now hold on just a gall-dangin’ minute. Someone get that wild bitch a couple bottles of that there valium!” It’s not a pleasant experience. Cheap special effects I can understand, but comedies aren’t always meant to be viewed in complete disbelief.
