1) Jackie Chan rides bicycles up walls and under doors in Project A, live on film. Return of the Jedi runs a few badly blue-screened speeder bike models into fake trees.
2) Unlike Darth Vader, Lord Conquer (Sonny Chiba) in The Storm Riders can throttle people from a distance, has more than one sword in his scabbard, and does not suffer from a breathing defect.
3) The music from Once Upon a Time in China is stirring, dramatic, unforgettable, and was not ripped off from Holst’s “The Planets”.
4) Zu Warriors of Magic Mountain is full of fascinating characters, incredible fights, amazing set-pieces and unmatched energy – but does not ever pause to sell soft toys, Lego, action figures, computer games, breakfast cereal or collectible Big Head Coke cups from McDonalds.
5) Tze Mui in My Father is a Hero is cuter than an ewok, but can also whip a dozen of his classmates into submission armed only with a burning love for his parents and a rolled-up towel.
6) Jet Li in Fong Sai Yuk is engaging, romantic, funny, caring, athletic and dramatic. The less said about Mark Hammil, the better.
7) Return of the Jedi puts Carrie Fisher into leather and makes her a slave. Heroic Trio puts Michelle Yeoh, Anita Mui and Maggie Cheung into leather and makes them kick a*s.
8) Tsui Hark has told dozens of memorable stories in the last twenty years. George Lucas is still pedalling out the same one. And Hark has a cooler beard.
9) Brigitte Lin as The Bride With White Hair. Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia. Brigitte Lin. Carrie Fisher. Brigitte Lin. Carrie Fisher. Let’s leave it there, shall we?
10) At the end of Empire Strikes Back, Luke loses his hand, but has a droid-built replacement by the start of the next movie with which to grip his fabbo lightsabre (TM). In The Blade, Chiu Man-Cheuk loses his whole ARM twenty minutes in, but retrains himself to fight one-handed armed only with his father’s broken sword and a martial arts book with missing pages.
