“Salad Days” is a weird short film about the love affair between a lady salad and a male trout in the cold storage closet of a restaurant. No, I am not writing this under the influence of any alcoholic or narcotic stimulant. This film has a woman in a salad costume and a man dressed as a fish professing their love for each other while other actors dressed as seafood and vegetables provide various degrees of moral support and commentary.
As short films goes, “Salad Days” is wildly elaborate in its concept and execution. Much of the credit for the film’s value belongs to Marina Anaya for brilliantly imaginative costumes and Silvie Imbert for stunning make-up. There is a grand fantasy lying in wait in the film’s production values.
However, filmmaker Gustavo Salmeron came up with a great idea in the film’s concept but had nowhere to take it. Thus, “Salad Days” is burdened with some fairly lame jokes and puns which inspire more than a few groans. When the lady salad has a dream where she is having a medical examination (don’t ask why), the doctor inquires if she is covered by Blue Cross. No, the salad is covered by Green Giant. When the cold storage community gathers to say prayers over one of their prematurely departed, they lead the chant with “Holy Onion, Mother of Pod.”
At 22 minutes, “Salad Days” feels incredibly prolonged and it is obvious the filmmaker had no idea how to end the film. At one point the salad’s tomatoes are liquefied into a gazpacho and the camera follows a spoonful of the soup as it goes down the digestive tract of a restaurant patron. That’s entertainment?
It is a shame that “Salad Days” is such a bore. Maybe the imaginative costumes and make-up can be salvaged to find a more deserving script. The one served here should have been sent back to the kitchen.
