RANDOM ACTS OF MIKE WATT: HOW I DIDN’T SPEND MY SUMMER VACATION.

Since we spent our summer shooting our new movie, we haven’t had much of an opportunity to actually watch many movies, much to the chagrin of my Netflix list. The only thing that keeps depression at bay is that this summer has, for the most part, sucked for movies. I say that like it’s some sort of revelation, but haven’t most of the last few summer movie seasons both sucked and blown at the same time (sorry”¦ one of the last things I saw on the big screen was The Simpsons Movie). We saw a total of two blockbusters this sweltering season: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I enjoyed them both (particularly Harry, as it adapted the only book from the series that I actively despised…though the final installment came in a close second in sheer “”blah”-itude”¦ but I digress).

I missed The Transformers. My life went on with nary a blip.

I missed Live Free or Die Hard. Rush Hour 3. The Bourne Ultimatum and all the other sequels that came out around the aforementioned sequels we did see.

The last thing we made the time to see in a theater, and a sadly crappy theater at that, was Stardust. A huge fan of the book and an enormous Gaiman fan in general, I was very pleased with the adaptation, even though I barely recognized the story amidst Matthew Vaughn’s retooling. Still, as Gaiman himself pointed out, they were making a movie, and movies are very different from books. And I’m thankful that he pointed that out to me. So, since Mr. G. was happy with the movie, I don’t have much right to grouse, do I? That being said, I endorse this. Go and see it before Balls of Fury blows it out of the theaters entirely.

And speaking of Balls of Fury, should I really be giggling this much at the omnipresent trailers for what is sure to be an abjectly stupid movie? I can’t help it. It just looks funny. I’m ashamed of myself.

With this coming Labor Day weekend, we find ourselves facing an oddly-open weekend. And I want to see something. The temperature is going to hit the 90s again and I’ll be damned if I don’t wind up somewhere air conditioned. And as long as I’m in air conditioning, I might as well be watching something large and flashy and entertaining. And since my definition of “”entertaining” is so damned broad, I’ll be hard-pressed to be disappointed no matter what I see, right?

So long as it isn’t Rush Hour 3, of course.

Anyway”¦ the prime contenders are Ratattouie and Superbad. As much as The Nanny Diaries is trying to entice me with shots of Scarlett Johansen’s a*s, I saw enough of it in Lost in Translation, so they’ll just have to do better than that. Halloween might be better seen at a drive-in, and, as I mentioned: hot this weekend. So that’s out. Balls of Fury will be offered through Netflix likely by the end of September, the way things are going with the DVD market, so no rush there. It doesn’t exactly scream “”big screen!” either. I can’t tell the difference between Death Sentence and The Brave One“”one has Jodie Foster and I’m not willing to take the chance that I’ll get the wrong one.

The biggest problem I’m facing is that Shoot “˜em Up doesn’t come out until next weekend. I’ve wanted to see this since the animatics showed up online last year. Hell, if they’d only filmed the animatics, it’d still be high on my list. Having just watched the original 3:10 to Yuma, I’m interested in seeing how Hollywood bollocks-up the remake. Even if it bears no resemblance, it still looks interesting and I’m a sucker for westerns anyway.

And after that, I don’t know what’s even coming out. You’d think I would, but my workload and the heat have got my eyes spinning in opposite directions and I just can’t seem to stay on top of release dates. I’m getting older, too, and they say knowing about release dates is the first thing to go. Someone says that, I’m sure of it.

To be perfectly honest, after having professionally reviewed and written about movies great and small for almost ten years now, I’m just happy that I still enjoy watching movies in the first place.