If you make it to the end of the credits, you will see something that will scare you worse than anything you’ve ever seen in a horror movie: Coming Soon — “Man Made 2.” If you make it that far, you are braver than I thought. You should get a medal.
Sarah (Yasmine Zapp) and her friend Isabelle (Christienne Wadsworth) are fired from their boutique jobs — and rightly so. They are the worst kind of flakes. After their dismissal, which is supposed to come off as unjust, they decide to start their own cosmetics business. No small cosmetic business would be complete, however, without a robot that “processes” the makeup, and they need to build that before they can mass-produce their product. As to be expected in a musical comedy, which is what this is supposed to be, characters break out in song to further the “plot” and do many wacky things meant to inspire laughs. The only problem with that is the fact that the songs here suck and the wacky things aren’t very funny. There’s some drama thrown into the mix, too, but that falls flatter than an A cup cutie.
There are so many things wrong with this film that I could write a book on how not to make a movie using “Man Made” as the sole example. To start with, the plot is totally unbelievable, so much so that it makes Snow Dogs seem fresh. The writers apparently did zero research on what it takes to start a cosmetics business. If this were the real world, these two ladies would have been sued, arrested or fined by customers and the FDA. And who besides kids in the third grade use bicycle rims to make a robot? As if the glaring plot problems weren’t bad enough, we are treated to some of the worst cinematography ever witnessed on screen.
I won’t name the person responsible for this because they are probably already embarrassed enough … and they should be. There is a close-up of some actor’s face about every fifteen seconds. Some of these close-ups involve “funny” faces, some seem to be reactions to scenes that occur elsewhere in the film, and others just involve actors staring blankly into the camera. This would make a great drinking game for kids fresh out of high school. “Oh, look! The drag queen is grimacing again! That’s a shot!”
I used to think Dick Baby was the worst film ever created. I was wrong. It is now “Man Made.” The only thing that saved this movie from being tossed out the window ten minutes in was the fact that it made me laugh. I wasn’t laughing at its comedic points, however. I was busting a gut over how insanely stupid it was, complete with detestable characters having surreal reactions to whatever is happening around them. Steer clear of this one … unless you want to learn how to make a better movie.
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