Before the Film Threat staff pigs out, we’d like to show our appreciation and give thanks to the following in Hollywood.
[ CHRIS COLUMBUS ] ^ We’re thankful that he wasn’t allowed to direct Spider-Man.
[ ANGELINA JOLIE ] ^ We’re thankful that she’s comfortable enough with her body to appear nude in nearly ever movie.
[ RENNY HARLIN & GEENA DAVIS ] ^ We’re thankful that they are no longer making action movies
[ NUDITY ] ^ We’re thankful for actresses who will do nudity even when it’s not essential to the plot.
[ MUSICALS ] ^ We’re thankful for Almost Famous and High Fidelity — perhaps the two best movies ever about what it means to be a music fan.
[ JONATHAN LIPNICKI ] ^ We’re thankful for every movie this year that didn’t have him flying around as an annoying grinning vampire.
[ BAD MOVIES ] ^ We’re thankful that the worst movies of the new millennium are already behind us.
[ JOHN TRAVOLTA ] ^ We’re thankful that the only person who still thinks there will be a “Battlefield: Earth II” is John Travolta.
[ NAKED RICH ] ^ We’re thankful that “Cast Away” doesn’t feature a fat, scheming naked guy.
[ BLAIR WITCH BURN OUT ] ^ We’re thankful that nobody involved in “Blair Witch 2” will ever work in Hollywood again.
[ BOXOFFICE RECOUNT ] ^ We’re thankful that, unlike election returns, box office figures are always reported fairly and accurately by the studios, with no bias towards their own product.
[ LOVELY ANGELS ] ^ We’re thankful to the wardrobe department of “Charlie’s Angels” for Drew Barrymore’s busty jumpsuit and Cameron Diaz’s little white undies.
[ MIKE MYERS ] ^ We’re thankful that Mike Myers came to his senses and spared us yet another padded and painfully unfunny SNL movie (“Dieter”).
[ STEVEN SODERBERGH ] ^ We’re thankful for two Steven Soderbergh movies in one year — and none by Oliver Stone.
[ HOWARD STERN ] ^ We’re thankful that he’s busy giving strippers breast exams, and not making “Private Parts 2”.
[ PAMELA ANDERSON LEE ] ^ We’re thankful that her show “V.I.P.” is a whomping success, so she doesn’t have time to star in any more cheesy action flicks.
[ CARMEN ELECTRA ] ^ We’re thankful that she got naked in “Playboy, and that when you look at the pictures you don’t have to hear her talk.
Get the rest of the list in PART TWO of HAPPY THREATGIVING>>>
