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FUCKENSTEIN (DVD)

By Admin | May 8, 2006

If you’re excited by the cover art, then be prepared to get f****d. The only things porn-related in this zero-budget horror indie are the production values, which include a haunted hayride-quality set with obscenely bad lighting. Boasting an “AVN award-winning” star (your average Pam Anderson look-alike), “Fuckenstein” barely breaks the R level.

While creating a monster in the traditional methods, the weasel “Dr. Stein” (David Vandelay) learns of his own sexual inadequacy. All bitchy about a hooker who insulted him, he incredibly bulks up his creation’s adequacy to ready him for revenge upon her. (The monster then moves on to other women.) Fuckenstein himself gets some laughs the first go-around when his manhood emerges through his legs like cargo out of a tunnel. By round two, though, his device inspires nothing save hopes of a technical difficulty. As the monster lifts one woman up a wall during his bestial attack, the victim, for some bizarre reason, plays the scene too seriously. The AVN award winner, Vicky Vette (hey now!), is a housewife who gets heated up and bares herself at the news of each rape/murder, over and over again. With the excitement of a club featuring only one stripper, the situation’s as one-note as the title joke.

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