FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS: THERE CAN BE… WELL, MORE THAN ONE, ACTUALLY…

“Highlander” Remake Gets Writing Team
Source: Variety

Summit Entertainment is set to remake the classic “Highlander,” and they’ve got a writing team to prove it. Art Marcum and Matt Holloway, best known for their recent smash hit “Iron Man,” have taken to the task.

This news has done little but make me ask “Why?” It’s bad enough that all the sequels, TV spin-offs and the like destroyed the canon that the original created (there can be only one… except on Tuesdays… and there’s actually way more than one… and being the one doesn’t mean you’re going to stay the one… or that you’re immortal… or mortal… is anyone still keeping track?), but maybe that’s the point of the re-imagining, or re-invention; to reset all the gibberish once and for all. Or, again, Hollywood just has no original ideas…

Spike Lee thinks Clint Eastwood doesn’t like black people…
Source: The Hollywood Reporter

It’s been a while since Spike Lee talked an adequate amount of smack about anyone or anything, so I’m happy that he decided to drop a few comments about Eastwood and the Coen Brothers during the Cannes Film Festival. While promoting his flick “Miracle at St. Anna,” Spike took the opportunity to praise his own proper portrayal of death as opposed to, say, the Coen Brothers:

“I always treat life and death with respect, but most people don’t,” Lee said at a press briefing. “Look, I love the Coen brothers; we all studied at NYU. But they treat life like a joke. Ha ha ha. A joke. It’s like, ‘Look how they killed that guy! Look how blood squirts out the side of his head!’ I see things different than that.” 

It’s true, “No Country for Old Men” was one Hell of a laugh riot! Those Coens sure don’t respect death. I mean, did you seen Chirgurh’s haircut? How can you seriously be respectful of death when the Harbinger of Doom is sporting that look.

But Lee wasn’t done there, and decided to focus some criticism in Clint Eastwood’s direction:

“Clint Eastwood made two films about Iwo Jima that ran for more than four hours total and there was not one Negro actor on the screen,” Lee told reporters. “If you reporters had any balls you’d ask him why. There’s no way I know why he did that — that was his vision, not mine. But I know it was pointed out to him and that he could have changed it. It’s not like he didn’t know.” 

I was more curious as to why there were no Asian actors in the movies; why Eastwood felt the need to go CGI. Wait, what? There were real Asian actors, it wasn’t all CGI? Well, what the f**k am I talking about?

I find it interesting that Spike would insult the reporters and question their man-hood (what about the ball-less women, Spike, do they get a reprieve from your insult or just an “eh”) about questioning Eastwood when, you know, Clint IS at Cannes and Spike could easily, I don’t know, ASK HIM HIMSELF. I’d like to see that conversation.

Spike: “Why weren’t there any Negro actors in your film, a*****e?”

Clint: “I know what you’re thinking, ‘Did he cast zero Negroes or only five?’ Well, to tell you the truth, in all the excitement of filming I kind of lost track myself. But being as I’m Clint Eastwood, one of the most powerful directors in the world, and could knock your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”

I wouldn’t f**k with Clint. Or, I would f**k with Clint, but probably real fast-like with a swift kick to the knee. Because Eastwood isn’t human anymore. He’s a leather cyborg that makes long films.

You know what? I really want Spike Lee to remake “Highlander” with Clint Eastwood in the starring role now. At least I’d believe he was immortal…