They can’t all be gems. In fact, most of them aren’t. The Worst Films of 2006 can predominantly be summed up by the usual suspects delivering the usual baggie of poo, with a few newcomers…
1. Date Movie
Usually, even in awful spoof comedies, there is at least one genuine laugh, and it’s usually found in the trailer. “Date Movie” delivered zero laughs, and was actually painful to watch.
2. The Pink Panther
Steve Martin may never be able to wash the stink of unfunny off himself again, but he’ll definitely never find out if he keeps rolling in these regurgitated re-makes.
3. Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector
The employees of Netflix could’ve taken a dump in an envelope marked “Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector” and none of us would’ve known the difference.
4. Little Man
The Wayans must be stopped! They’ve been procreating their comedy out of control for years now, and whatever humor that existed in the “In Living Color” days is far gone.
5. Eragon
Dragons instead of X-Wings. Wizards instead of Jedi. Just because you re-named the pieces, doesn’t mean we won’t see the rip-off.
6. The Benchwarmers
David Spade, without Chris Farley, is death to any film. Add Rob Schneider to the mix, and you have a film that should’ve spontaneously combusted. Instead, it may’ve jinxed Jon Heder’s career.
7. Destricted
You’d think a movie that includes a guy f*****g a truck while a gourd hangs out of his a*s would be quality but, no, not at all.
8. Pulse
No way, a crappy horror re-make!?! It almost seems unfair to waste a spot on one of these when, at this stage, they might as well have their own list.
9. See No Evil
Wrestler-turned-“actor” plays a serial killer who terrorizes teenagers. YAWN. Wake us when Rowdy Roddy Piper is making films again.
10. My Super Ex-Girlfriend
One sentence: a superheroine who uses a shitty-cgi Great White Shark as a projectile weapon.
Find out which shorts topped the 2006 list, and which indies are worth looking out for in the final segment of Film Threat’s Best and Worst of 2006>>>
