"EPISODE I" ACTOR SEBULBA LASHES OUT

Kobe Washington, the actor behind pod racer Sebulba in Star Wars: Episode I wants respect. “Everything is Jar Jar-this and Jar Jar-that! Ahmed Best can go to hell!” says the embittered actor. Washington donned the “Sebulba” costume and not only spent hours in the hot desert sun for outdoor scenes, his laborious shooting of the pod race sequence turned into a nightmare. “We did that crash about 50 times,” says the modest actor who performed allo of his own stunts. “After the 15th time I said, ‘Poo-doo,’ I thought I was going to go nuts, then we did that sh-t another 35 times! Pure torture.”
But this was not the worst part of shooting the first film in the planned Star Wars prequels. “That kid who played Anakin flubbed his lines more often than Ahmed Best annoyed the crew with his “antics.” Hello? Am I the only one that noticed that kid couldn’t act.”
The delightful alien dug Sebulba will only be seen in a brief cameo in Star Wars Episode II, which may explain the actor’s recent public outcry. “Ahmed Best is a bitch. You need me to point that out for you? He is the most irritating part of that movie, so what do they do? He gets a bigger part. What, he plays a senator from Naboo for Episode II. I’m in the f—in’ pod race scene, okay, the best scene in the f—in’ movie and I get squat! Ahmed Best can kiss my a*s. If he can get on the ground and maneuver himself underneath me.”
Washington, a resident of Orlando, Florida, apparently needed little motivation to get violent with Ahmed Best during certain scenes. “When Jar Jar put that frog in my soup and I got splashed, do you think I needed motivation to bitch slap that motherf—er? Hell, no. I was only doing what every Star Wars fan at that moment wished they could do: Kick the living s**t out of Jar Jar.”
NOTE: We completely made up this story as a tribute for our own “Star Wars Celebration.” It was ILM’s creative digital artists who created the character of Sebulba, the only decent-looking alien in all of “Episode I.” Thanks ILM.