There was a brief intermission wherein Graeme physically restrained Corinne as she tried to pummel my Fiancé. This was also a good time to find refreshments. Someone commented that the reason we watched “Boa vs. Python” first was to make “Anaconda” look good, but sadly I think it actually had the opposite effect. “Anaconda” is so self-conscious in it’s ineptitude that it ended up being a little boring. Regardless, I think the Peanut Gallery was just happy to see something approximating production values.
The other reason Peanut Gallery star Graeme was happy was the presence of his homeboy, Ice-Cube. Although I may have mentioned it periodically in prior columns, those of you reading this can’t possibly understand the extent to which he contends that all films will be improved by the presence of Ice-Cube. It is now one of the great Den of Sin in-jokes, along with Christopher Lee explaining things and the dreaded “Dragonstorm” incident. And so at last we programmed a film that could not be improved merely by the presence of Ice-Cube, but it was suggested that J-Lo’s character should have been played by Eazy-E and Danny Trejo’s character should have been played by Dr. Dre. My Fiancé was just disappointed that Danny Trejo wasn’t given a chance to be badass since really, isn’t that why you put Danny Trejo in your movie?…
More amusement was derived in trying to figure out what was up with Jon Voight, when it suddenly dawned on me that he was actually channeling Christopher Walken. Or, maybe Christopher Walken with a hint of Marlon Brando. Brendan kept trying to insist that there was some DeNiro in there until we pointed out that the sneering he identified as DeNiro was really Brando and I was able to feel superior in my film nerdiness. It was then suggested that Jon Voight should have been played by Nick Nolte to add some authenticity to the craziness, but that was deemed unnecessary. However, if halfway through the movie a scrap between Gary Busey and Nick Nolte had broken out that would have been cool too. As it was, halfway through the movie Corinne and BJ left to take a smoke break, despite Corinne not even smoking and at least one person yelled – “This isn’t over yet?!”
Rumblings from the Peanut Gallery: The difference between the movies was explained as the difference between completely stupid and mostly stupid, although there is still dissension among the ranks. Graeme appreciated the better looking rubber snake in “Anaconda” to which my Fiancé replied, “it’s called money”. Graeme further argued that the snakes in “Anaconda” were at least “snakelike”, but he was shut down by Corinne’s declaration that “your consolation prizes are not enough for me”. All in all it was decided that our planned field trip to see Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid would be scrapped.
Mariko McDonald and her fiancé host a weekly film night in their apartment, affectionately known as the Den of Sin. It’s kinda like evil film school. Monthly screening schedules are available at http:filmgurlland.blogspot.com and if you happen to live in the Vancouver, BC area and are interested in catching a screening please drop her a line at filmgurl79@hotmail dot com. Suggestions, hate mail and cute pictures of cats also accepted.
And of course you can always offer up some juicy Back Talk>>>
