“Strangeland” marks the writing/producing and acting debut of 80’s “Twisted Sister” rocker Dee Snider. This cheap version of David Fincher’s “Seven” basically involves teens, computers and body mutilation. Capt. Howdy (Snider) is on the loose … on the web, searching for young, nubile victims to terrorize and carve. But when he kidnaps Detective Mike Gage’s (Kevin Gage) daughter, Genevieve (Linda Cardellini) his menacing ways are rought to an end. You may think that I have given the entire film away in one sentence … trust me I haven’t, and it gets worse. Wait until you are treated to Dee Snider giving us his “Forrest Gump, I am timid” act. Wow!!!
This “film” is so unwatchable that if I were forced, with a gun to my temple, to choose between viewing it again and the gun, I would choose the blissful sleep that said weapon would bring … without hesitation. The dynamic acting duo of Kevin Gage and Dee Snider is so insultingly bad that I found myself yearning for the subtle performances of such thespians as Keanu Reeves and Pauly Shore.
After the agonizing torture that was endured I can safely make the statement that “Strangeland” is now and will be the worst film of 1998. Realize that I am making this statement after viewing other notables on the “Unwatchable” scale, such as Eddie Murphy’s “The Holy Man”, Bruce Willis’ “Mercury Rising”, Arthur Hiller’s “Burn Hollywood, Burn” and “Lethal Weapon 4” among others.
At one point during this pathetic, waste of film, the police chief made the statement: “Why would God create a creature like Capt. Howdy?” … All I could think was … Why would God allow a film to be made like “Strangeland”? The worst film of the year … mark my words.
