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AMERICA’S BIGGEST DICK

By Peter Hanson | January 23, 2005

There’s not much to say about this one, because there’s not much to this one. Unspooling over a scant four minutes — and nearly running out of steam during that brief span — Bryan Boyce’s goofy screed against our combative vice president is simplicity itself. Boyce took news footage of Dick Cheney addressing the 2004 Republican Convention (from Fox News, natch), then superimposed another man’s mouth onto Cheney’s so that Cheney could appear to spout — wait for it — Al Pacino dialogue from Brian DePalma’s maniacal version of Scarface. That’s right. For four minutes, Our Dick spews such vulgar profundities as “You want to know what the defeeneetion of capitaleesm ees? Eeet’s getting f****d!” Yeah, you get the joke. It’s Cheney issuing vitriol only slightly less varnished than the muck he usually barks in real life. Ha, ha. This sort of thing would be mildly distracting as an online gag, but it’s pretty damn thin for a short at one of the world’s premier film festivals. To be fair, though, the central conceit has enough moronic appeal that you’d have to be a red-state hard-liner not to chuckle once or twice. And if nothing else, the title sure works.

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