Ann Marie Allison co-wrote, produced, and directed You’re Dating a Narcissist!, her first (and most likely last) time helming a feature, so the result is her vision, her message to the world, her baby, so to speak. To phrase it differently, she has no one else to blame. Allison followed her instincts, believing wholeheartedly that the highfalutin, recycled series of redundant truisms, predictable turns, and abhorrent characters would resonate with audiences.
Judy (Marisa Tomei) is a university professor and the author of a book about (predominantly male) narcissism, titled, well, see review title. Her colleague Diane (Sherry Cola) is going through it after her partner’s betrayal. Her daughter, Eva (Ciara Bravo), is an aspiring artist. When she gets engaged to the wealthy Theo (Marco Pigossi), Judy instantly sees red flags everywhere (a running theme) and deems him a “narc” (short for “narcissist”, um, okay). So she decides to drop in on her daughter and evaluate this guy. How lovely and original and not creepy at all.
Shenanigans ensue: Judy visits Theo’s grand mansion and meets his posh family; she has a “meet cute” with the hot owner of the hotel, whom she dislikes at first (guess where this leads); she keeps crossing boundaries, including an attempt to seduce Theo. The supposedly uplifting ending just reinforces the cynicism prevalent throughout the narrative.
” … Judy is a university professor and the author of a book about (predominantly male) narcissism…”
Was Allison aware of the cringe factor here? I’m not so sure. “Maybe I like anal sex,” Eva tells Judy. She also reveals to mommy that Theo’s sweat smells good (gag). Don’t get me started on Judy’s definition of “triangulation”. A scene of Judy and Diane spying on Theo — and consequently seducing him — will make the most stalwart rom-com lover squirm in their seats.
Good thing Allison, with the help of co-writer Jenna Milly, redeems herself with nuggets of golden dialogue (yes, sarcasm): “Too much cuddling is corrosive.” “Lauren used to kiss me like that. Her lips were like hot little pillows.” “Don’t bother coming to the wedding. You’re completely toxic.” The gimmick of Tomei addressing her daughter with valuable advice by talking straight into the camera is painful to watch.
Everything is heightened and self-aware/congratulatory, trying so hard to be “cute,” it’s nauseating. The normally reliable Tomei bites into this role like it’s a hot dog with a bit too much relish. Her Judy comes off as certifiably insane, possessed by her own idiotic beliefs, reducing everything to red flags and “narcs” (and then — spoiler alert — gets proven right!). The rest of the characters are equally insufferable, randomly quoting Confucius and Jane Austen when they’re not spewing clichés.
Producers Chris Abernathy and Eric B. Fleischman have supported a number of worthwhile indie projects, often betting on passionate filmmakers with distinctive voices. That mission is commendable — even when the bet doesn’t pay off. On paper, You’re Dating a Narcissist! may have looked like a breezy, relatable comedy. In execution, however, a film about narcissism turns out to be almost terminally self-absorbed.
"…almost terminally self-absorbed"
