
There is a missed opportunity in the fun, fantastical, fart-filled, sex-crazed, comedic short Witchez are Bitchez. The fact that director Gideon McCarty did not mine the closing line “I can collect all the dicks, and you can kill all the dragons,” as uttered by star/screenwriter Jazmine Cornielle’s witch Fraya, to her randy wizard rival, Dalvin (Ryan Marko), to create Dicks & Dragons as the title is a little sad.
The irreverence of the piece brought back fond memories of the cult TV show Wizards and Warriors. It was an early fantasy offering that had its fair share of lust and laughs that was ahead of its time. Witchez are Bitchez is like a smoothie, blending a dash of Mel Brooks with a splash of Troma and a sprinkling of what we love about Christopher Guest movies. All that is to say that the plot concerns earnest witches and warlocks trying to make it in the world while having pockets filled with gold for services rendered and their perverse desires quenched when the workday is done.
“…earnest witches and warlocks trying to make it in the world…”
A good short should leave you wishing the world you just glimpsed was slightly more expansive. The promise of the premise in this makes me want a Waiting for Guffman-style piece set in the same universe. Fraya and Dalvin are the Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy of a realm where too much pride and prejudice can see one zapped and converted into fancy-colored clouds that vanish as fast as they appear. This is all punctuated by thunder that only your bowels know how to deliver.
For luck, for laughs, for the unknown, Witchez are Bitchez is a bite-sized bundle of brilliance. If expanded, it could give birth to some strange sorcery. But wizards, be warned: keep your “wands” in your pants at all times!

"…earnest..."