A Canadian Horror Comedy, Scared Shitless, is a rare and ailmental opportunity to witness Steven Ogg demonstrate the full range of his acting chops in a most excremental scenario. For the uninitiated, Steven Ogg is television’s ‘Actor’s Actor’. He also portrays tough, blue-collar men better than anyone. Appearances in Better Call Saul, The Walking Dead, Westworld, and even Grand Theft Auto III as the memorable Trevor Phillips have cemented Steven Ogg’s reputation for great, manly acting with some serious machismo. Also, if there’s anyone who will legit refuse to take s**t from anyone, it’s Steven Ogg.
Ogg portrays Don Donahue, a plumber with a thriving business. His service is so reliable, he has developed lifelong relationships with several of his clients, including Mrs. Applebaum (Marcia Bennett). Don also enjoys the company of his son Sonny (Daniel Doheny). Sonny, a college dropout who’s developed a really acute case of germaphobia, dwells in Don’s basement. Due to a stomach issue, he’s reluctant to partake of the daily dinner with his dad. Don, for his part, makes amazing dinners. Scared Shitless opens with Don preparing stir-fried green beans, mashed potatoes, and gravy to accompany some meat loaf he has baked. As they set down to dinner, Mrs. Applebaum calls in for some assistance. You see, she has a clog that she can’t shift.
Expecting a routine call, Don enlists Sonny to help him with what should be a simple unclogging of the drain. What Don does not know is that Professor Robert (Mark McKinney of Kids in the Hall fame) and his genetically engineered super predator – Weapon X – have holed up in Mrs. Applebaum’s apartment building. By the time Don and Sonny report to the concierge at the front desk, Patricia (Chelsea Clark), Weapon X has disemboweled Professor Robert. The monster then escapes into the building’s pipes, and that’s where Scared Shitless takes off.
“Expecting a routine call, Don enlists Sonny to help him with what should be a simple unclogging of the drain.”
I do not believe I have ever found a use for this adjective before, but gentle reader, Scared Shitless is truly craptacular, and that is a good thing! This is the Cleveland Steamer of splatter-gore Horror Comedy. Working off a script by Brandon Cohen, director Vivienno Caldinelli has created a distressingly awesome gross-out comedy. The practical effects are on point. The creature feels real. It wriggles in a most unseemly manner, and it creates spectacular comedic punchlines every time it devours one of the perverted residents of the building. I do not wish to reveal too much. Be on the lookout for a Dominatrix and her sissy of a husband. They’re a hoot.
Scared Shitless is a fantastic, if deeply juvenile, film. Canadian Cinema has had its share of wondrous horror cinema, thanks to the likes of Vincenzo Natali and David Cronenberg. With Scared Shitless, it’s clear Caldinelli wishes to continue the grand tradition of Canadian splatter horror. The visceral scenes in this film alone are deeply memorable. As a connoisseur of the crude and profane, I absolutely adored Scared Shitless.
This weird, perverse, demented comedy is a must-see if you like horror comedies and gorefests. If the intersection of those two sub-genres screams to you in a fat woman’s high note, seek out Scared Shitless. It’s coming to theaters soon, and I assure you, gentle reader, I’m gonna watch it again on a 40-foot screen. It’s that good.
"…truly craptacular..."
