Massacre at Femur Creek Image

Massacre at Femur Creek

By Bradley Gibson | November 29, 2024

Canadian director-writer Kyle Hytonen splats out a no-budget ooey-gooey mess with his slasher feature Massacre at Femur Creek. Patrick (Adam Lemieux) is getting married tomorrow, so his friends take him to an impromptu bachelor party in the woods. The nervous groom reluctantly agrees to attend. His bestie Teddy (Eric De Santis) is the ringleader of the ensuing shenanigans. Teddy has brought enough booze and weed to put everyone in a coma for a week. The characters are of an age where it’s beginning to become clear what their lives will be, and there’s quite a bit of conversation about the good and the bad. Some of Patrick’s friends are happy with the path they are on, but most are not. These frank talks about existential matters would not be out of place in a Kevin Smith film. Patrick, spilling his guts in heartfelt angst over not being ready to get married, is soon interrupted by a gruesomely masked killer bent on literally spilling the guts of everyone at the party.

The shambling force-of-nature killer never speaks, and no clear motivation is given for his rampage. The blood and viscera splash satisfactorily when it comes. The film is shot primarily in the dark, and the cinematography is serviceable. Lemieux and De Santis deliver believable performances, with De Santis channeling Belushi / Farley for his boundary-challenged man-child character. Lemieux’s resemblance to Luke Wilson, both physically and in acting style, gives the film a “cut-rate Wes Anderson on bath salts” vibe. The relationships between the characters work just fine and give the viewer a sense of investment in them, to some extent. There are some humorous beats. They aren’t just blood bags for the killer to gleefully poke.

“…spilling his guts in heartfelt angst over not being ready to get married, is soon interrupted by a gruesomely masked killer…”

In an interview with Search my Trash, Hytonen describes his movie as “… an 80s-inspired backwoods slasher comedy that I like to say is a mix of Friday the 13th and a John Hughes movie.” This is an accurate description, though these styles juxtaposed make it feel like someone edited together two wildly disparate films.

This party-pooper critic feels an obligation to point out that while the killer is slow and always uses knives or his hands to attack, it still takes over an hour into the film for someone to remember and locate the rifle they were told about in an early scene. That’s a small matter, however, as shooting him just pisses him off, apparently.

The title Massacre at Femur Creek is an enigma… is there really a Femur Creek? If not, then where are the femurs in the film? That said, one clever impact of the title is a sure hit when looking for the film online. It’s Search Engine magic.

Hytonen deserves kudos for making this effort on little to no budget. Also, note that a director who opens with a female character that flashes topless and then is killed immediately must be very confident in the rest of his movie. That said, you should at least watch the first five minutes. While the film is uneven, and the attempt to build relatable characters into a Halloween-esque slasher film is strained, the ambitious effort is noteworthy and at least partially succeeds.

Massacre at Femur Creek (2024)

Directed and Written: Kyle Hytonen

Starring: Eric De Santis, Adam Lemieux, August Kyss, etc.

Movie score: 6/10

Massacre at Femur Creek Image

"…kudos for making this effort on little to no budget."

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