In director Klára Tasovská’s I’m Not Everything I Want To Be, screenwriters Tasovská, Alexander Kashcheev, and Lukás Kokes draw on passages from Libuse Jarcovjakova’s diary entries to create a complete picture of who she is. The filmmaker didn’t shoot any new material for the movie, using the Czech photographer’s photos to create the story. Additionally, Jarcovjakova narrates the documentary, which adds a personal layer to the whole affair. Does such a stylized approach work, or does it muddle the message?
Jarcovjakova was born in Prague in 1952. Her family was “artistic,” so she was drawn to art from a very early age. Once she discovered photography, it just came naturally to her, though she had to apply several times to the university’s photography program. Her favored subjects would be the things that would later bring her acclaim: herself, minorities, and LGBTQIA+ people. Jarcovjakova just so happened to be on the ground, clicking her camera away in 1968 during the Prague Spring and its suppression at the hands of the Soviet Union months later. Eventually, the photographer would leave the Czech Republic and travel the world. She would still capture anyone marginalized on the sidelines of society with her camera.
“…clicking her camera away in 1968 during the Prague Spring and its suppression at the hands of the Soviet Union months later.”
While the use of photographs as the film’s visual language sounds gimmicky, I’m Not Everything I Want To Be is anything but. Tasovská is able to place all those watching on the same plane as the subject by using the pictures. I would say the director places the audience directly into Jarcovjakova’s mindset, but part of the journey is the photographer trying to figure out who she is. Between the photos and diary, there’s no doubt as to what the subject was thinking, and more importantly, feeling in those moments at that time.
The editing between the photos is very impressive. The transition between one to the other is seamless. Where and when we are in the narrative is never jumbled or confusing in the least. Admittedly, it is not always clear who some of the subjects in the photos with her are. During the “carefree” days of Prague’s liberalization, Jarcovjakova hangs out with many people. Two or three times, it was unclear which person was being referenced in the voice-over. But that doesn’t really affect much by the end.
I’m Not Everything I Want To Be is a bold, stylish documentary. It is told in a unique way that perfectly captures the subject’s thoughts and mindset in a very intimate way. While some more context on who everyone is would be nice, witnessing something this original and stirring is worth that minor hiccup.
"…bold, stylish..."
