Short drama All the Men I Met But Never Dated presents a complicated cultural challenge for a gay man who wants to remain closeted, in a world of American LGBTQ culture rising and coming into the light. Director/co-writer Muneeb Hassan introduces this situation with grace and compassion.
When Ali (Ahmed Shihab-Eldin) and Oliver (Jared P-Smith) meet at the gym, they feel an instant attraction and begin dating. Both men are happy in this intensely compatible couple, but Oliver notices that Ali is hesitant about public displays of affection. Ali seems to carry some shame and is slow to be demonstrative, and he won’t dance.
At their next party, Oliver confronts him, and Ali reveals that his conservative Muslim family, with whom he is very close, would never accept his homosexuality, and as a result, he must remain closeted. Oliver rejects this notion, demanding that Ali live his truth. He refuses to see someone who needs to keep it secret.
“…his conservative family would never accept his homosexuality…
The narrative is spun from Ali’s POV and towards Oliver being in the wrong, with Ali hoping to find a perfect mate who will share his shame. It’s a preposterous position to take. The film is well made, and the performances are powerful, but the notion that anyone should accept the situation and agree to be in the closet is stifling and counterintuitive.
Real life is messy, but decisions must be made about which path to take. Ali could, hypothetically, find an also-closeted man to date, but that would be an enormous challenge, and he’d run the risk that his partner would one day wish to stop hiding his life because of outdated cultural constraints. All the Men I Met But Never Dated paints this dilemma in a thoughtful, respectful way. It’s a situation that most viewers will never have to grapple with, making for provocative food for thought.
"…a gay man who wants to remain closeted..."
