A Minecraft Movie

Even worse is that Momoa is phoning it in. This is a role he should be able to pull off in his sleep; see the underrated Slumberland for definitive proof of that. But as Garrett, he’s not charismatic and has so few action scenes he doesn’t even get to say cool one-liners. Maybe it is the character’s constant moping that prevents him from going larger-than-life, which is where he excels. Momoa is just dull, dampening whatever investment audiences could have had in the character.

However, A Minecraft Movie does not only star good actors but also does poorly. Myers and Hansen are fantastic here. While the editing does their big emotional moments very dirty (more on that later), the actors overcome the odds and are compelling. They are believable as siblings and play off each other nicely. Myers sells how in over her head Natalie is, while Hansen comes across as more than just a movie nerd. Brooks is funny and gets the only genuine laugh in the whole thing. Whatever levity or engagement the film has stems from these three and nothing else.

“Myers and Hansen are fantastic…”

Whether it was Hess and editor James Thomas or bigwigs at the studio interfering, the editing throughout is nothing short of a nightmare. Natalie and Henry have been in Overworld for a very short time, and she’s discussing some of Henry’s issues with Dawn. Henry is understandably hurt. But this moment comes so soon into the adventure and after the brother has proven to understand how this strange place operates innately. The timing of this conversation is all off. The siblings’ reconciliation is a jump cut in media res when Henry was sleeping/recovering after an accident. It is so startling that despite the actors’ best efforts, it does not work at all. Sadly, the piss poor editing extends to the action beats as well. While not confusing or hard to follow, they lack energy and style.

However, the worst thing about A Minecraft Movie is the story structure. Dialogue expresses that getting to this very important mansion to get a needed quest item will be fraught with danger. But based on what is shown, that is hardly the case. The only threat encountered along the way comes from a detour to a mine for diamonds. Again, this could be the bad editing, leaving needed elements on the cutting room floor, but the plot never flows coherently. Also, why do only some of the evil pigs speak, and the rest grunt like real animals? Everything is a jumbled mess with virtually zero stakes and no humor. Jumanji, this ain’t.

A Minecraft Movie is not funny, exciting, or clever. The director is more interested in his peculiar brand of humor than in delivering a rousing adventure story or emotional character beats. Sadly, the biggest names in the cast — Black and Momoa — are tuned out and not very good here. Myers, Hansen, and Brooks do what they can but are unable to overcome awkward characterizations and lousy direction. Overall, I am just not sure why this even exists.