In Secret Menu Beauty Pageant, directors Frankie Campisano and SG Egan weaponize nostalgia, turning it into an Adult Swim comedy-horror mixtape. The film sets the stage for a story that slides from “quirky” into “what on earth am I looking at?”
Our first of three narrators, Clover (David Elliot), recalls working as a teen at what is now a dead mall. He worked at the Shoe Factory, but rather than eat lunch or dinner at the food court, his daily ritual was heading over to the Burgers ‘n’ Such diner across from the mall.
Every time, he’s served by Eddie (Gary Alexis). They joked that Eddie had a Burgers ‘n’ Such uniform, and his Shoe Factory uniform was essentially a Burgers ‘n’ Such customer uniform. Even when Eddie left the Shoe Factory, he continued to wear his “customer uniform.”
“…there’s a beauty pageant going on down there.”
Clover’s last interaction with Eddie centered on their discussion of the Burgers ’n’ Such “secret menu.” All this time, Clover had no idea there was one. Clover goes home to research it, and it’s all true. When he returns, Eddie no longer works there. He asks his replacement, Clementine (Janice Lynn Sykes), about the secret menu. She leads him down a dark stairway to the diner’s basement, and to his surprise, there’s a beauty pageant going on down there.
Right from the start, you can’t help but notice something odd about Secret Menu Beauty Pageant. With weird characters, some wearing even weirder masks, I thought I was watching an AI-generated tale, but no—this is real. It’s shot like an AI short, with quick scenelets and a reality that’s just a little off.
For me, Secret Menu Beauty Pageant is a carnival funhouse ride into madness. As a self-described homage to Adult Swim, filmmakers Frankie Campisano and SG Egan lull us into the nostalgia of mall food courts and diners before dragging us to hell through a beauty pageant. Why it works here is that their version of hell feels coherent, like it actually exists, versus being haphazardly weird for weird’s sake. Their narrators are perfect for grounding the lunacy.
Sure, Secret Menu Beauty Pageant doesn’t always make sense. For the most part. But I’m here to tell you, just go for the ride and let its dark imagery flow over you. Is that so much to ask?
For more information, visit the Secret Menu Beauty Pageant official website.
"…a reality that’s just a little off."
