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Chris Gore and Alan Ng give their non-spoiler reviews of “Snow White,” now playing in theaters.
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Show More Show Less View Video Transcript
0:03
all right Allan it's
0:04
time it's time to talk about Snow
0:08
White um we will be non-spoiler today
0:12
although we we'll get into probably
0:14
light spoilers if any of you care you've
0:18
been warned there will be light spoilers
0:21
in
0:22
this uh
0:24
Allan let's talk about Snow White uh I
0:29
if you would go over the story somewhat
0:32
and then we'll get into uh we'll get
0:35
into it yeah well for those of you of
0:38
you who don't know Snow White uh it's a
0:41
story of a young girl who uh who's born
0:43
in in uh stressful circumstances her
0:46
parents were in a carriage in the middle
0:49
of a snowstorm and she was born and
0:51
survived and that's how she became Snow
0:54
White because there was snow there is
0:57
snow okay and and about five minutes
1:00
into the movie uh her mother dies and uh
1:04
the king is there and he is he s uh he
1:07
succumbs to the beauty of this strange
1:09
woman who then marries him and now she
1:13
becomes the evil queen after sending her
1:16
husband Snow White's father off to death
1:19
now Snow White off to war off to war
1:21
that that he may or may not have
1:23
survived okay and uh so she is now
1:27
locked up in the castle seeing seeing
1:29
how uh economically oppressed all the
1:32
villagers are she shows compassion uh
1:35
she shows mercy and by doing that the
1:38
magic mirror tells the evil queen that
1:40
Snow White is the fairest of them all
1:42
and now the evil queen is on a vendetta
1:45
to kill Snow White uh but there are
1:48
dwarves and bandits who are there to
1:51
help her survive and and uh and win in
1:53
the end uh and there's music and dancing
1:57
and creepy CGI and lots of cute animals
2:01
it's it's it does follow the the the
2:04
bullet points of the original fairy tale
2:07
it actually does for the most part it
2:11
hits those beats but adds a whole lot of
2:15
extra to get to a one hour and 49 minute
2:19
running time so um I'll I'll I'll say
2:23
this the new musical numbers are not
2:27
great I can't even look I can in in my
2:31
mind I can pull up Whistle While You
2:35
Work simple it's a great tune very
2:38
simple you it's memorable none of the
2:41
new songs are memorable having said
2:45
that um Rachel zler is great as a singer
2:50
he is very good I mean I I I have to
2:53
give her credit you cannot deny Alan she
2:58
is very good singer she is very good
3:00
singer I will agree with and you like
3:02
musical so you are a good judge I
3:05
thought she was brilliant in Westside
3:07
Story yeah so there you go I mean she
3:10
gets some credit there but um that can't
3:14
save the
3:16
rearrangements of the classic songs
3:19
which are just playing bad they they
3:22
even change the lyrics to Whistle While
3:24
You Work and hi ho they added lyrics to
3:27
High ho and hi ho it's so
3:30
um so let's get The Good the Bad and the
3:32
Ugly for this I mean I already got the
3:35
good out of the way which is Rachel zler
3:38
can sing and she isn't she is not awful
3:41
in the movie but I'll say this I have a
3:43
theory as to why this movie went through
3:46
re-shoot and it was recut and they did
3:50
something they did something with Rachel
3:53
zler what did they do they reduced her
3:56
screen time how did they do that they
3:59
added a whole Preamble with Snow White
4:01
as a young young girl and what she went
4:05
through with her family they included
4:07
other storylines including the bandits
4:11
the Huntsman uh the evil queen herself
4:14
so what you saw is the the screen time
4:19
of Rachel zler as Snow White was reduced
4:23
in the in the movie making her seem less
4:26
annoying I I I'll make make a comment
4:30
will this will make
4:32
sense Star Wars episode one okay
4:35
whatever you think about that movie I
4:37
actually don't think Jar Jar Binks is
4:39
that bad here's the problem with Jar Jar
4:42
Binks in uh Star Wars episode one he was
4:45
comic relief the problem is he gets
4:48
annoying after a while but no more or
4:50
less annoying than C3PO a gay
4:53
Butler and I think you could have saved
4:56
jarar Binks if you just cut his screen
5:00
time in half or less if he has less
5:03
screen time he's just not as present and
5:06
not as annoying but he took over that
5:09
movie to the point where if you look at
5:11
the structure of episode one The Phantom
5:13
Menace he is the one that follows the
5:16
hero's journey the hero's
5:19
journey is followed by jarar what he
5:22
needed to do George Lucas is cut the
5:25
running cut the screen time of Jar Jar
5:27
down you would actually like him as a
5:30
character that's what they did very
5:32
wisely to Rachel zegler they cut her
5:35
screen time down that helped and I also
5:38
think that that contributed to many of
5:40
the reviews that say Hey the movie is
5:43
actually good it's not great it's good
5:47
it's not as bad as I thought it would be
5:50
because we've had two years of awful
5:52
press and now we get to the movie and
5:54
it's like not that bad which is which I
5:58
can see that is a fair
6:00
I I had a friend textt me he said the
6:02
same thing it's it's okay it's okay it's
6:06
not as bad as you thought it would be um
6:10
uh uh so I don't know what you think
6:12
about what I just said I have some more
6:14
comments as well we'll get to the
6:15
dwarves save the dwarves okay I'll save
6:18
the dwares but when you say it's not
6:20
it's not as bad as it could have been
6:22
that's true but it's still a a bad movie
6:26
I mean if you take all the controversy
6:29
the story is awful I joke a lot about
6:31
the fact that this movie uh what this
6:34
movie had that the original didn't have
6:36
was Exposition there's just too much
6:38
explaining going on um the the other
6:42
thing is the storytelling there's not a
6:46
there's not emotion there's not heart in
6:48
it and I'll give you the biggest example
6:50
and this happens in the first five
6:51
minutes um Snow White as a little girl
6:55
she's with her father the king her
6:57
mother the queen they're very happy and
6:59
then all of a sudden the narrator says
7:01
and then the mother dies yeah and then
7:05
in the well reflection she disappears
7:08
she now the thing is is that you know
7:11
look you feel bad because I told you the
7:13
mother died as opposed to uh all the
7:16
other Disney movies you either see or
7:19
You Feel the emotional impact of a
7:21
parent dying uh Frozen is prob the
7:24
greatest example of that the parents go
7:26
off in a ship uh they die and you get
7:28
that sense that that feeling of you know
7:30
you know how they feel but here it's
7:32
just it's literally a line and she goes
7:34
away um the the acting um to me it's
7:39
this movie is just too on the nose in
7:41
the sense of you know uh the the whole
7:44
point of Snow White is she is destined
7:47
to become the queen uh the leader her
7:50
father wants her to be um that waiting
7:53
on a wish it's all about her wishing to
7:56
be the daughter her father wants her to
7:58
be right um
8:00
you know the I mean really is that what
8:03
kids are into is that what kids connect
8:05
with and resonate with um you know then
8:09
she goes off everywhere she goes in this
8:11
movie She's she sees you and she hears
8:16
and gives you and and it happens so
8:18
often that by the by halfway through the
8:21
movie every time she she sees someone or
8:24
hears someone your eyes roll into the
8:26
back of your head and that I think
8:27
that's why you two you and Dante had
8:30
headaches afterwards yes I literally got
8:32
a headache watching this movie yeah now
8:35
let me talk about the music uh the music
8:37
okay the music is great it's exceptional
8:41
the lyrics are awful the lyrics uh say
8:44
nothing uh the biggest example is the
8:47
opening number called um good things
8:51
grow this is the this is the song that
8:54
introduces you to the land uh the
8:57
country that that uh Snow White and her
9:00
family rules over um and what happens is
9:03
the song is about how th in this town
9:06
and in this country good things grow you
9:09
know like when they grow vegetables for
9:11
the gardens it it's good and then when
9:14
they bake things it's good um everyone
9:17
has plenty of stuff um this is a far cry
9:21
from Bell from beauty the Beast that
9:23
opening number uh when you see it play
9:26
out when Belle goes into the town you
9:29
understand
9:30
uh Belle's character you understand the
9:32
basic conflict between the her and the
9:35
townies uh and then you bring in Gaston
9:37
and now you've got the big conflict
9:39
going on there that opening number says
9:42
everything you need to know about this
9:43
story but this song Good Thing grows uh
9:47
good things grow um it's about farming
9:51
and how good things grow I mean that's
9:53
just a little too on the nose uh there
9:55
is a love song in the middle of it h we
9:58
could I mean maybe Friday we'll talk
9:59
about the love story and how horribly
10:02
mismanaged it was but you know a love
10:05
song a Disney love song the key to
10:08
whether it becomes a classic or not is
10:10
whether you would sing the song in your
10:12
wedding or have this song sung in your
10:14
wedding oh wow yeah I like that yeah
10:17
this one I mean it's it's I don't know
10:20
there's just this feminist vibe that
10:22
flows through this entire movie yeah
10:24
yeah we can get into that it's very girl
10:27
bossy CHR problems
10:29
the song princess problems I mean you
10:32
can only imagine problems oh my God so
10:35
it's it's all these this it follows the
10:38
Beats of the story while adding and it's
10:41
not like you could argue I could see
10:44
people argue hey it's not overly woke
10:46
but there's a a whole socialism thing
10:50
throughout where they there's a third
10:52
wave feminism there's feminism in there
10:55
they sort of dance up to the line but
10:58
never say the word ity but they're
11:00
they're implying that with the good
11:02
things grow song how you share all the
11:05
the resources of the Kingdom right yeah
11:08
and Her speech to the queen about the
11:11
people are starving we need to give them
11:14
a pie can make them like it is it is
11:17
like oh it's it's it's so you're right
11:21
it's so on the nose let me give you the
11:23
worst example of the exposition in the
11:25
dialogue there is a whole segment about
11:28
why happy was named happy and why dopy
11:31
was named Dopey and why Sneezy was named
11:34
Sneezy and they thought they were being
11:36
cute they weren't and and then finally
11:38
I'm surprised at the end of this movie
11:41
galad do wasn't fat and overweight
11:43
because she chewed up so much scenery
11:46
throughout the entire movie I mean I
11:49
think people will say she did a good
11:51
performance but in in my opinion it was
11:53
just uh it was just really over the top
11:56
and when you combine it with dance
11:58
numbers that that she had to do I'm like
12:01
this is this is uh this is incredible I
12:05
so I in I will say this um kids will
12:10
love it you we talked about last night
12:11
single-age kids will love the movie and
12:14
there's for one reason there are cute
12:17
animals from the opening frame to the
12:19
ending frame and the only times in our
12:23
audience the the most most of the time
12:26
that the audience reacted audibly was
12:28
when an animal showed up and looked cute
12:32
and that's the response and kids you
12:34
know that is that's the um pavlovian
12:36
response that kids will have and that
12:39
and you have enough of that going on to
12:41
where they're going to like this movie
12:43
and I think uh I am uh I'm willing to
12:46
bet that I mean I'm willing to bet that
12:48
it'll make uh 400 to 500
12:52
million we'll we'll see uh um but I will
12:56
say this uh two last things and we'll
12:58
get to your comment
13:00
we will also go into more full spoilers
13:03
on Friday but but um the animals they
13:07
did everything they could to distract
13:09
it's like I said they reduced Rachel
13:11
Ziggler's screen time so it it begins to
13:15
feel like an ensemble by the end of the
13:17
movie and the way that the third Act is
13:19
resolved is laughable we will talk about
13:23
that on Friday yeah one thing you'll
13:25
you'll notice about the animals is every
13:27
time you know the wishing well the it's
13:29
iconic every time the camera goes to the
13:31
wishing well two or three doves descend
13:34
upon
13:35
it I mean without without fail each time
13:39
right it's it's it's it's dumb but okay
13:43
so and the thing I noticed that we saw
13:46
it with a full audience you may not if
13:49
you go to the theater you're not going
13:50
to see it with a full audience um there
13:52
were breaks where after a big song you
13:57
would expect people to apply
13:59
guess what they did not the like you
14:03
pointed out Alan the only thing to get a
14:05
big reaction were the
14:08
animals no no one laughed and there's an
14:12
audible gasp when something shocking
14:15
happens with one of the dwarves that I
14:18
know pissed people
14:20
off I know it pissed people
14:23
off but let's talk about those dwarves
14:26
and CG effects the CG effects are so B
14:30
in 1992 Jurassic Park came out and blew
14:34
people's minds with dinosaurs that
14:36
looked real and somehow CG effects today
14:39
have gotten
14:41
worse bad the dwarves are dead eyed and
14:46
are awful like that bad Tom Hanks movie
14:49
Polar Express I did not like that movie
14:52
I don't care what maybe whatever you
14:54
think of it I did not like that movie
14:57
the the dwarves are so bad and there's a
15:00
thing with animators where they imbue
15:03
their personality onto onto the
15:07
characters they animate I don't know who
15:10
was doing the the dwarves they were very
15:13
generic and they looked like these big
15:16
heads like kind of like um like they
15:18
were in some uh Marty gr parade some
15:22
character running around with like a big
15:24
head that they couldn't really figure it
15:27
out there was no reason I think you said
15:30
this uh last night there was no reason
15:33
they could not have hired little people
15:36
and maybe put makeup on them you know
15:39
and made them maybe maybe they had some
15:41
CG enhancement they could have brought
15:43
the classic I couldn't even tell them
15:46
apart other than other than doc grumpy
15:49
and Dopey I didn't know who was who they
15:51
were not very distinct and uh yeah look
15:55
I I will we if you watch the movie pace
15:59
special attention to what the dwarves do
16:01
and ask yourself the question couldn't a
16:04
human actor have done that
16:07
right yeah why did they not hire humans
16:10
and if it if it's uh Peter Dinklage his
16:13
comments led to that decision I find
16:16
that very sad There is a little person
16:18
in the movie by the way one of the
16:20
primary Bandit characters one of the few
16:23
I remember and um that character plays a
16:27
a part but
16:29
uh other than that it's uh that's it one
16:33
last thing we'll go to your comments
16:34
unless you have something else okay good
16:37
please um
16:39
diversity yeah that's what I was gonna
16:41
add it's the okay let's I know it's so
16:45
distracting when it's not organic you
16:48
can have like a great actor play a part
16:50
that is say a Denzel Washington or
16:53
someone or or like someone an actor that
16:56
like oh well that's it's Denzel but the
16:58
iversity is so they couldn't show a
17:01
frame of the town's people without well
17:04
here's a white person and here's a
17:06
person of color and here's I think
17:08
there's one Asian in the whole movie
17:10
there's one Asian in the whole movie One
17:11
a but it's it's no one does diversity
17:15
worse than Disney they are so adamant
17:19
that like it's not just about the group
17:21
of characters it's frames of does every
17:26
frame of the minor character
17:29
have to looks like a box of crayons of
17:32
different flesh colors it's like so
17:35
forced it takes you out of the movie
17:37
it's like uh the liveaction Beauty and
17:39
the Beast did that too yeah look I've
17:43
always said that progressives and even
17:45
liberals they they try so hard to not be
17:47
racist that it comes off as racist yeah
17:51
we we I talked about this on Monday on
17:53
verses but all my life diversity has
17:56
meant black and that this movie movie
17:59
represents that comment perfectly there
18:02
was one Asian maybe you can spot the
18:05
latinx um but it was it was black that
18:08
that was their diversity the other thing
18:11
is um you know look this this took place
18:15
hundreds of years ago and when you watch
18:18
it you realize wow white and black
18:20
people got along pretty well you know
18:23
there was no racism at all in in the in
18:26
the world back in the let's say the 12
18:29
1200s or the 1300s uh everyone got along
18:33
what happened what happened what what
18:35
point since this since Snow White did
18:37
did all of a sudden uh Black and White
18:40
Citizens turn on each other and that's
18:42
what we talk about in authent in in
18:46
being
18:46
inauthentic um or not being authentic um
18:50
you know it's just it's forced it's
18:52
thrown in in there and it doesn't feel
18:54
real well one one last comment um
18:59
to Disney on the diversity they made the
19:01
Huntsman black the guy that was sent by
19:04
the evil
19:06
queen to take Snow White into the forest
19:09
chop her heart out and put it in a box
19:13
to deliver to the queen was black so
19:17
make of that what you will Allan your
19:20
your final review out of 10 what do you
19:23
give it okay I gave it a three out of
19:25
ten because I liked I liked I liked hi
19:28
ho
19:29
um I was just talking again with my
19:30
daughter about it but the high ho
19:32
sequence if you've been on the Snow
19:34
White roller coaster at the Magic
19:36
Kingdom the High host sequence is based
19:39
on that ride and we we certainly enjoyed
19:42
that ride and it was fun seeing it again
19:44
um but you know like Amelia Perez this
19:49
is just a bad movie uh take away all the
19:52
controversy take away the fact that it's
19:54
Disney what was thrown on the screen is
19:57
just bad storytelling uh it treats
20:00
adults like morons and it panders to
20:03
children with cute animals well I also
20:06
give it a three out of 10 mainly because
20:09
Rachel zler she could sing and she
20:12
wasn't as annoying as she could have
20:15
been so there you go it got a three for
20:17
not being as annoying yeah and Chelsea M
20:21
I didn't know that Medieval Time Germany
20:24
was so diverse yeah yeah it's it's it's
20:29
why does it not work Allan I mean it it
20:33
obviously doesn't work it's like
20:35
distracting it's because I think it's
20:38
the way they film it because like when
20:41
they cut to like there's like there's an
20:44
opening number that's like all the
20:46
people in the village right this big
20:48
Village
20:49
Square but when they cut so it's big you
20:52
see the spectacle look at this crowd in
20:55
this Village Square and they cut to
20:57
insert shots
20:59
these closeups but whenever they do it's
21:02
like black person white person two black
21:05
people young black girl two white people
21:08
like it's like it has to be
21:11
like well that I me that's just it
21:13
because it's
21:14
inauthentic uh it feels out of place and
21:18
um and then and then when you see it
21:20
like you say in every frame uh POS that
21:23
way uh it it now feels forced you know
21:27
like they're they're pushing this
21:30
diversity agenda upon us and the fact
21:32
that there was only one Asian um let's
21:36
think about it I can I can understand
21:38
how you can have a good uh good number
21:40
of black people in your village but one
21:43
Asian how did how did that person get
21:45
there uh how does that person you know
21:48
interact with everyone else what about
21:50
his culture what about his Asian
21:52
Heritage what what of that you know
21:54
that's where this idea of diversity
21:56
becomes slowly racist
21:59
because we're we're now denying the
22:01
culture of that person and and forcing a
22:04
German European culture behind him or or
22:07
background behind him but that's that's
22:10
a whole other conversation
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