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Chris Gore and Alan Ng review "Red One,” now playing in theaters.
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0:03
red
0:04
one is the movie about Santa Claus that
0:09
is kind of a hardcore action movie like
0:13
say like I I don't know like like your
0:17
hardcore action movie like Air Force
0:22
One and it's played in a a completely
0:26
straight Allan tell us the story of red
0:29
one all right the story of red one um so
0:32
Santa is totally jacked thanks to the
0:36
help of his main elf enforcement
0:39
Logistics and fortification officer um
0:42
Dwayne Johnson let me get the names here
0:44
uh Callum
0:46
drift uh he's his trainer and his
0:49
bodyguard uh and Santa is rocking it
0:51
hard um meanwhile on the other side of
0:54
the earth you have Chris Evans who plays
0:56
Jacko Mali he's a he's a hacker he's a
0:59
bounty hter and he's been hired to uh
1:02
get some
1:03
intelligence uh he in the beginning of
1:05
the movie you see how good he is he's
1:07
able to sneak into a h high security
1:10
Level facility steal some Intel and then
1:12
bring it back that Intel is the location
1:15
of Santa's workshop uh and uh it he was
1:19
hired by the ogre witch H gillia
1:24
Grilla and um she's able to kidnap Santa
1:28
and now it's up to uh Callum drift to
1:31
find Santa and the only only person who
1:35
has a clue as to what might be going on
1:37
is of course Jack O Ali and so he uh he
1:40
sub he kidnaps him and they work
1:43
together to find Santa and what save
1:46
Christmas um this is a you know
1:48
high-tech high-tech world that Santa
1:50
lives in now uh a lot of intelligence
1:52
agencies uh that support him uh one of
1:55
which is led by Lucy Lou Who plays zooh
1:58
harlo
2:00
um yeah what did you think of this Phil
2:03
well a couple things to add to the story
2:06
description is C Chris Evans character
2:09
Jacko Mali has kind of a tenuous
2:11
relationship with his son Dylan played
2:14
by played by played by Wesley
2:18
Kimmel oh no any relation to Jimmy
2:21
Kimmel okay who knows
2:24
probably what can you say and um he
2:27
never married the mother but they you
2:31
know he does he does he's he's a bad dad
2:34
let's just say that he's a bad dad so
2:36
that that's another
2:38
subplot uh running throughout this and I
2:41
will say this the action scenes are
2:44
played with dead seriousness they they
2:47
basically treat Santa Claus like he is
2:50
the president so you've got Dwayne
2:52
Johnson he's on the move you know it's
2:54
all those things you associate with
2:56
presidential Secret Service you know
2:58
films and Dwayne Johnson and other
3:01
characters a big polar bear there's all
3:04
these
3:05
other uh characters and Magic is a part
3:08
of this world they go they go to toy
3:11
stores have portals to the to the North
3:14
Pole when you take a uh say Hot Wheels
3:17
you throw it on the ground you point
3:19
this magical weapon it turns it into a
3:21
real car but it only works that way they
3:24
don't even explain it too much and I
3:27
don't really care to be honest uh they
3:29
that the that's how this world functions
3:32
what struck me about this movie is the
3:35
action scenes are played deadly
3:38
seriously I mean like this is like an
3:41
Air Force One with Harrison Ford or you
3:45
know uh one of those movies
3:49
with Liam niss you know Olympus Has
3:52
Fallen or it's a Taken movie with Santa
3:55
being taken played by JK Simmons and the
3:58
reason you find out from this witch yes
4:02
the uh main antagonist is a witch played
4:05
by Kieran Kieran shipka who uh if you
4:10
saw
4:11
Madmen she was she was the daughter in
4:15
Madmen Don Draper's daughter anyways um
4:19
so she's the main witch villain with the
4:22
ferious plans Lucy louu plays Zoey who
4:25
kind of runs the facility it's weird
4:27
that it's basically like if if you know
4:30
the North Pole and Santa and all that it
4:32
was like it was like the he's the like
4:34
the CIA CIA like it's it's played with
4:38
dead seriousness but we do know it's
4:40
ridic ridiculous now the action is
4:43
actually really good and expensive the
4:46
budget for this movie was
4:48
$250 million and it shows I mean it
4:52
really does so and there are some
4:56
honestly I mean I'm not going to lie I I
4:59
I thought movie was crap yeah by the way
5:02
the the 200 we did a news item on the
5:05
budget the $200 million budget half of
5:07
it was uh Dwayne Johnson not showing up
5:10
to set and and wasting time and all that
5:13
money for him not being there or showing
5:16
showing up not at all or showing up late
5:18
well I think this movie will first of
5:21
all this film is gonna
5:23
bomb it it's expensive and looks
5:27
it I was at the AMC Burbank 16 to watch
5:31
this movie I have never seen the theater
5:36
this empty and the whole like some
5:38
movies will draw people it was empty it
5:41
was a ghost town on a Thursday by the
5:44
way go to my Instagram and I'll show you
5:47
that I last night got a private
5:50
screening in my local theaters IMAX
5:52
theater oh I was literally the only
5:54
person in my IMAX theater watching this
5:57
movie I was in the IMAX
6:00
and there were 10 people in the IMAX for
6:04
6 PM show on opening night this movie
6:07
will bomb it will be next to Joker 2
6:10
could be the biggest bomb of the year
6:13
maybe by the way the numbers came out
6:15
last night 3.7 million in previews
6:19
that's horrible that is horrible so so
6:23
this movie is already a bomb having said
6:26
that I can't say I mean I was never
6:29
bored
6:30
I can't say I wasn't
6:33
entertained I'd say if you get drunk on
6:35
eggnog maybe go see this so it's a
6:40
terrible movie by all accounts Chris
6:44
Evans is he's sort of the opposite of
6:47
Captain America he's he's he's an a-hole
6:50
he's not as muscular as he's a level
6:53
four naughty liser right but there is
6:56
like the action sequence where they
6:58
kidnapped can Santa was kind of fun
7:02
there's a scene with Krampus a slapping
7:04
contest that's kind of funny the way
7:07
they use the toys As Weapons was with
7:11
like they which I kind of feel like this
7:12
movie is like like a lot of these Hasbro
7:15
movies where they build a movie around a
7:17
toy like Barbie or Transformers this was
7:20
built around these smaller Brands like
7:22
Hot Wheels um Rockham sockum robots
7:26
other kinds of toys that are throughout
7:28
like uh I can't I wasn't bored I was
7:31
like this is a bad movie I was I was
7:35
painfully aware this movie is terrible
7:38
at the same time I'm like ah whatever
7:41
and I will say this this is the kind of
7:43
movie
7:45
that it's the movie that like a family
7:48
will go to by default because they can't
7:51
pick a movie we can't see that because
7:53
that's R this is too much for little
7:56
kids it's the compromise movie It's Made
7:59
for everyone and no one all at once and
8:03
it feels like the script it was made
8:07
written in the 90s it seems very like
8:10
like it's kind of Timeless in that sense
8:13
which might be a positive you know it's
8:15
not overly woke I know people worry
8:17
about that it's not it's not at all it's
8:20
like it feels kind of dated like a 90s
8:23
action movie so it's it's
8:26
inoffensive it's the plain don't donut
8:30
in a box of donuts it's like well and
8:32
actually to be fair I actually like
8:34
plain Donuts but whatever don't judge me
8:37
um it it it offends no one but it's not
8:40
great it is maybe a five that I didn't
8:45
it's a five for me five out of 10 but
8:47
but it's also like I I wasn't bored I
8:50
mean it's under two hours I think uh
8:52
under two over two hours over two hours
8:56
well it didn't feel long two hours and
8:58
three minutes not by much okay but it
9:01
didn't feel long to me it was like but
9:03
I'm like sitting there going I knew
9:05
going in this is a bad movie and kind of
9:08
if you take that with a grain of salt I
9:11
was like e but look I'm giving it a five
9:14
and I'm saying I I didn't hate it that's
9:16
not a huge endorsement so I don't know
9:19
what did you think what what did you
9:21
think yeah uh yeah no I was bored out of
9:25
my mind oh really okay I I mean look I
9:28
don't like to in the middle of movies
9:30
and so I gave this the benefit of Doubt
9:32
and I held it to the very end but there
9:35
were times I was like I need to get out
9:37
of here um feels a lot like uh the
9:41
problems I had with Agatha all along
9:43
where a lot of this lore a lot of the
9:45
powers that Santa has and the witch has
9:48
seems to be just made up for the sake of
9:50
plot yes and uh I don't like that I you
9:53
know the the thing that this has on
9:56
Agatha is at least we're somewhat
9:58
familiar with Christmas and now how
10:00
Santa Works um so but they didn't even
10:03
do a good job connecting that unlike
10:06
Agatha where we have no idea how witches
10:07
work um and look a Christmas movie
10:11
really should have Christmas themes
10:13
other than the fact that you know this
10:14
is Santa and the minations of how the
10:17
workshop Works um because the only heart
10:19
in this movie is between Father and Son
10:22
uh Chris Evans the deadbeat dad and
10:24
Jimmy Kimmel son as his son um and
10:27
that's really only dealt with at the end
10:30
of the movie you know as kind of the big
10:31
resolution of of the movie um because
10:35
you don't really get a sense of any of
10:36
that animosity between the two of them
10:39
throughout the film uh which is what elf
10:42
did so well is that you had this
10:44
conflict between the father and the son
10:46
and how the father is more worried about
10:48
the business and keeping his job than he
10:50
is about family and Christmas and that
10:53
theme carried its way throughout elf is
10:55
which is why elf is such a why elf is a
10:58
Christmas classic and red one will never
11:00
be um you know and in terms of the
11:04
action look I'm looking at the story
11:06
Chris Morgan wrote it he wrote a lot of
11:08
The Fast and Furious makes sense um this
11:11
the the thing about this is just how
11:14
many high powerered people are behind
11:16
this and how bad this movie is uh
11:20
because you have what seven bucks
11:21
Productions doing this so that's Dwayne
11:23
Johnson's uh production company it
11:26
looked like his his brother-in-law wrote
11:27
it um you know so there's a lot of
11:30
nepotism here uh and uh it just amazes
11:34
me
11:35
how you know you mentioned it it wanted
11:38
to be an action movie it wanted to be a
11:40
Christmas movie and by trying to do that
11:43
it became neither right it appeals to
11:46
everyone and no one all at once I mean
11:48
the the action is just like Fast and
11:50
Furious it's all CG it's predominantly
11:52
CG uh so it just doesn't feel real uh
11:56
the the Santa stuff at the beginning of
11:58
the end where you kind of you know they
12:00
give you a glimpse as to how is Santa
12:02
able to go around the world and deliver
12:04
gifts um that that's kind of brought
12:06
into the the mix here uh it's
12:08
interesting but definitely fast and not
12:11
not enough to pique my interest at all
12:13
so uh I give it I'll give it a four four
12:16
out of 10 well yeah I'm just saying this
12:19
is the kind of movie that when you can't
12:22
compromise on what movie to see the
12:24
family Cas say fine we'll see red one
12:26
and then you see it's I will say the
12:28
action is played with dead seriousness
12:30
yeah like so maybe little kids will be
12:33
kind of bored or even scared especially
12:35
during the Krampus stuff yeah and I'll
12:37
say this I think this movie is more
12:38
about the Krampus stuff than it is about
12:41
Christmas and and the action movie you
12:43
get a lot of Krampus lore or supposed
12:46
Krampus lore which uh you know I don't
12:50
think we know enough about it to be
12:52
interested in that
12:54
either so we both give it kind of a bad
12:57
review but I'm like I didn't hate it but
13:00
that's not a good thing to say I you
13:03
know well no I'll go on and say it is a
13:05
bad movie it it's oh no there's no doubt
13:09
we both agree it's a bad movie I'm
13:11
saying the level I give it just a little
13:13
bit you got pizza pizza wait wait Give
13:16
me give you a full screen I I want to
13:18
show it this to us yeah there you go red
13:21
one pizza look at that promotion I got
13:23
this at Regal I I buy look I go to Regal
13:26
and I buy their cardboard Pizza um it's
13:29
you know I I cope with it it's fine it's
13:33
something tasty at least but you got to
13:35
eat it fast because it gets cold fast
13:37
what is better the pizza or red one the
13:40
pizza was definitely better than like I
13:43
will never say the the Regal pizza is
13:45
good but it's good enough for me to eat
13:46
it every time I go there
14:00
my still
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