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Chris Gore and Alan Ng review “Kraven the Hunter,” now playing in theaters.
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Show More Show Less View Video Transcript
0:03
sexy all right let's it's time we talk
0:06
about Craven the hunter this is oh my
0:10
gosh the all the Sony Spider-Man movies
0:13
that don't feature Spider-Man there was
0:16
Venom one two and three
0:19
morbius of all things one and two one
0:22
yeah um the there just these these
0:25
movies Madam web it was Madam web we're
0:29
taking all the characters around
0:32
Spider-Man and I think all of them have
0:35
a similar flaw Spider-Man isn't in the
0:38
movie not even mentioned although there
0:41
is a I was sort of veiled reference in
0:44
Craven the hunter but um Alan tell me
0:47
about Craven the hunter yes Craven uh is
0:52
okay so uh here we go Craven and his
0:56
brother are the sons of the Russell Crow
0:58
character uh Russian mob boss and um
1:03
during a uh during a hunting accident uh
1:08
young Craven is uh is wounded uh and a
1:12
young uh let's call her Voodoo person
1:14
from Africa she has a vile of of Health
1:18
serum brings it back to life and the boy
1:20
becomes Craven uh but because of the
1:23
harsh Rule and fist of his father uh
1:26
they become aranged and uh I'm explain
1:30
this horribly you want to take over for
1:33
me Allan this is what you do for a
1:36
living ah not explaining PL you were so
1:39
good in our out of the theater review
1:41
you know you know what it is it's like I
1:43
get comments all the time of how
1:45
horrible I
1:46
am yeah you need to work on that that
1:49
that would be good I need to work on
1:50
saying I'm just saying I'm just saying
1:52
you know I don't want to ruin the
1:53
algorithm we all have our flaws look
1:55
look it's a very simple story of Two
1:57
Brothers have a a Russian B boss who who
2:01
who made his fortune with drugs he's a
2:04
hunter he's trying to make his boys into
2:06
manly men the two brothers and the on a
2:10
on a safari one of them like hesitates
2:14
for a moment and Craven young Craven is
2:17
attacked by a lion he's almost mauled to
2:20
death he's carried off by the lion his
2:23
body is found and a vial of of magic
2:28
potion from a young woman named Calypso
2:32
drops into his blood and he somehow is
2:35
imbued with powers he's learning to
2:38
understand he has a Fallout with his
2:40
with his father and runs away goes on
2:42
like a cruise ship back to to Mother
2:45
Russia where he he goes to a forest this
2:48
Serene Forest that he used to go to with
2:52
his mother um he sees a a carved on the
2:55
side of a of a a tree the name his name
2:59
his brother brother's name and his name
3:00
Craven Craven off um and he learns and
3:05
discovers these Powers what he Witnesses
3:07
is a bunch of poachers killing animals
3:12
uh for simply their horns they leave
3:15
their bodies in a in a field and this en
3:19
enraged he takes them out he becomes
3:22
like a John Wick like
3:25
Assassin or Hunters who abuse animals
3:29
and discovers a whole ring of people
3:32
doing this and uh seeks them out I don't
3:36
want to get into too much of the story
3:38
but the second half so he's learning his
3:40
powers the second half of the movie his
3:43
brother is abducted by some of the
3:46
people that are involved in this
3:48
including someone who turns out to be
3:51
the
3:52
Rhino the
3:54
RH which he looks like an
3:57
accountant with a backgound he uses he
3:59
uses with a backpack filled with serum
4:01
to keep himself from turning into a
4:04
rhino now the D the this is the gist of
4:09
the
4:10
story and Craven is I mean I will say
4:13
there are a couple fun action sequences
4:16
bad CG but he jumps around when his
4:19
brother is abducted he chases this truck
4:22
with uh guys with machine guns trying to
4:24
get his brother back it's a it's a it's
4:27
kind of a thrilling fun scene and
4:29
they're there may be two or three scenes
4:31
like that of of action I'll just say
4:33
this this is the dumbest movie this year
4:36
this is the dumbest dialogue to the
4:39
point where and to be fair we saw this
4:42
at a screening myself you Allan were
4:45
there Paul cedo script doctor uh Dante
4:48
Derek
4:49
Anderson uh Dante verbal Riot we were
4:52
laughing our asses off but it's not it's
4:55
not so dumb like Madam web where it's so
4:59
stupid you're laughing it's actually
5:01
dumb like I it felt like the script was
5:05
written with
5:06
AI where it's like I'm a Hunter I hunt
5:11
it was like a first draft of a script
5:14
written by Ai and look Aaron Taylor
5:17
Johnson as
5:19
Craven he's
5:21
okay it's more of a physical performance
5:24
on that level he's very good he's is
5:27
actually good on that um Fred hinger
5:31
plays Dimitri his
5:33
brother Ariana the Bose plays Calypso
5:37
and and she's these are characters they
5:41
kind of uh plucked from Marvel I I'll
5:44
just say this I the the dialogue it
5:47
ruins this it's so flat there's no life
5:51
to this it's like written by it's
5:53
written by people who don't know how
5:56
humans actually interact directed by
5:58
someone who doesn't doesn't understand
6:00
the language who directed this I I don't
6:03
know yeah who cares uh JC chandor okay
6:09
I who has done movies I don't recognize
6:14
triple Frontier a most violent year All
6:17
Is Lost Margin Call Viper Club
6:20
look this and and also this puts the
6:23
nail in the coffin of all these Sony
6:27
spin-off Spider-Man films they all suck
6:31
and this one may suck the worst but it's
6:34
maybe the second most fun which is weird
6:37
to say because Madam Webb in spite of it
6:40
being bad was fun we were laughing it's
6:43
so bad and flat and boring there are a
6:46
few action sequences that worked like
6:49
all right that works the CG was cheap
6:52
and bad but wow did we need a I'm never
6:56
in my wildest dreams when I had the
6:59
Aurora model kit of Spider-Man with
7:02
Craven the hunter I'll show you a
7:04
picture um it was God awful so I don't
7:09
know it's a two or a three out of 10 for
7:13
me Allan what did you think of Craven
7:15
the hunter what I think I
7:18
mean the question I asked after the
7:21
credits ended and we didn't get a post
7:23
credit scene no post credit scene folks
7:26
no post credit but the the question I
7:27
asked everyone was is this movie so bad
7:30
it's good and I think the consensus was
7:33
it's pretty damn close uh and and again
7:37
it All Surrounded around dialogue the
7:40
dialogue I mean before I thought it
7:43
might have been written by AI I was
7:45
thinking to myself maybe this is uh it
7:47
was written by Tommy
7:48
wio just how bad yeah because there are
7:52
there are three significant scenes where
7:56
two people are in a room and all they're
7:59
doing is giving us Exposition right and
8:03
and the dialogue in this
8:05
Exposition the way it was described uh
8:07
by by one of our friends was uh it was
8:10
it was Hollow you know yeah they say
8:13
they say profound things but there's
8:14
nothing they wait Behind These profound
8:17
thoughts uh I'll give you an example
8:19
like during one uh during the this long
8:22
conversation between Craven and Calypso
8:24
she is Calypso uh has moved to uh Africa
8:29
from from Africa to London uh took on an
8:32
American accent and became a British
8:34
lawyer um there there's one point where
8:38
where it's like she says to Craven I
8:41
know who your father is being you know
8:43
the the drug King and then she she is
8:46
collected and then she is connected to
8:48
the uh London Underground and then he
8:50
says well I know who you I know who your
8:52
friends are you know and so there's it's
8:55
meant to be profound but it just felt
8:57
like they threw it in there because it
8:59
sound sounded like there's some weight
9:00
behind it um CPO in the beginning of the
9:03
movie uh pulls up a crossbow uh never
9:07
fires it but in the end she uses the
9:10
crossbow to to save Craven's life um and
9:13
there's a dumb line let me let me repeat
9:15
the line she says yeah she has the arrow
9:18
it's like summer camp she it's it's no
9:21
no hold on no no no it's not just that
9:23
no no let me finish it um please no so
9:26
he's she she kills him she has a
9:28
crossbow Craven says summer camp and
9:31
then she says we all have our
9:34
secrets right right it's so dumb oh my
9:38
God yeah oh my God yeah and look we were
9:42
we were laughing we were we were
9:44
cringing uh the look Craven Craven is
9:50
able to climb walls uh he has super
9:53
strength right you know he uh you know
9:57
you might as well give him web shooters
9:58
at this point
10:00
you know and uh ironically he's afraid
10:03
of
10:04
spiders um yeah this is this is just
10:09
okay
10:10
so when we talked about Venom uh when we
10:13
compared it to Venom this is what I said
10:15
uh I don't remember Venom but I remember
10:19
Craven uh that's why I think this movie
10:22
is so bad as good because it is is so
10:24
profoundly awful you are going to um you
10:28
are going to remember these awful things
10:30
that you've witnessed and we never got
10:33
this by the way I'm showing from from
10:35
eBay this is the Aurora model kit I had
10:38
as a kid it's a Spider-Man model kit
10:42
with with Spider-Man shooting his web
10:44
over Craven I had that when I was a kid
10:48
we're never gonna get that why aren't we
10:50
getting that it's
10:53
ridiculous so I yeah I had that kit it
10:57
was amazing all right back to crav here
11:01
yeah so yeah I mean I I I'm gonna throw
11:05
it in the so bad it's a good category I
11:07
I think oh really you want if you want
11:09
to mst3k a movie this is the movie to do
11:13
it grab your friends go to an empty
11:15
Theater which there are plenty of and
11:18
watch mov together we we were talking
11:21
throughout the entire movie and the
11:23
people in our theater were not
11:25
complaining no one's trying yeah we were
11:28
which is really verboten you can't don't
11:31
talk during a movie they even have a
11:33
messages about that but no one cared no
11:36
one cared we we burst out laughing at
11:38
lines we were you know commenting on
11:42
stuff like a rhino the Rhino guy that
11:46
alone was so
11:48
dumb he looked like this weird
11:51
accountant with these glasses he had
11:53
this backpack it was always on him
11:56
what's funny is when he first appears he
11:58
looks like a a Mormon missionary and
12:00
he's got his backpack on and I'm like oh
12:03
the Mormons have adopted the door of the
12:05
Explorer model here uh and I said the
12:08
the backpack should have at least had a
12:09
Spider-Man uh should have been a
12:12
Spider-Man backpack it was bad it was
12:15
dude it was
12:16
really I mean colossally bad it's
12:20
bombing at the B check out what the
12:22
Rotten Tomato score is I believe it was
12:25
133% critic score we'll see with the
12:28
audience score I expect to be a little
12:30
higher because it's
12:32
dumb made two $2 million over last
12:36
night yeah and we were like $50 of that
12:41
I know so that was that was nine of us
12:43
nine of us yeah all nine of us all nine
12:47
of us so yeah um cannot recommend this
12:51
film I mean maybe catch it on streaming
12:55
I the the
12:56
the minor spoiler but in the trailer he
13:00
does fight Rhino at some point that
13:03
might be the best thing in the movie I
13:06
mean but you're laughing there's no
13:08
drama you're laughing there's a whole
13:10
turn and a reveal with his brother so
13:14
there's all these minor Marvel character
13:17
cameos but they're not in a form you
13:20
would recognize yeah like Calypso and
13:23
Rhino and coup like a couple others I
13:26
won't yeah there's two villains that are
13:28
I guess are based on Marvel characters
13:30
which I couldn't think of I I yeah yeah
13:33
they nowhere near their counterparts wow
13:36
what a
13:38
disappointment and so Allan you
13:40
recommend it only for the for the the
13:42
chuckles
13:44
yeah yeah
13:47
what's what's my number uh I'll give it
13:49
a four so I like I give it a
13:53
two it's I I I will never see this movie
13:56
again uh I still like Aaron Taylor
13:58
Johnson I think you know but but wow
14:01
that script is so bad it felt like AI it
14:05
really really did yeah the only reason
14:07
I'd see it again is if I get a bunch of
14:09
friends and we wanted to just be a
14:12
little mischievous I'd say hey let's
14:14
let's go see Craven
14:29
MO
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