Sexina

I’m not a big fan of overused clichés, but since the one I’m about to use has recently fallen out of the modern vernacular, here goes. Sexina: Pop Star P.I. “is what it is”—a silly, girl-crazy exploitation film relying on cleavage, tight tees, low-budget effects and acting, and a good-looking cast to attract viewers. Oh, and the late Adam West is in it too.

As the title states, Sexina: Pop Star P.I. is about a sexy private investigator known as Sexina (Lauren D’Avella), moonlighting as a wildly successful pop star or is it the other way around. Sexina’s problems come at her from all angles. Her current level of pop stardom is being challenged by the new singing sensation Lance Canyon (Luis Jose Lopez). The guy is so hot. Sexina’s manager candidly admits that Lance’s new music video is “hotter than my sweaty balls.” Trying to stay relevant, Sexina holds a contest to find her biggest fan and she will perform a free concert at his/her school (more on this later).

“Can Sexina find time for a personal life, while balancing her career as a pop star and private investigator?”

Let we forget, Sexina is also a P.I. and her new client is Rachel (Cate Buscher), whose father is the renowned scientist Professor Von Bunsen. Rachel needs Sexina’s help to find her father, who was recently kidnapped by The Boss (Adam West) to help him create a cyborg boy-band called “Top That.” As his cover, The Boss is the president of Glitz Records and is using his biggest star, the abovementioned Lance Canyon to reluctantly do his dirty work starting with murdering the thug The Boss hired to kidnap Von Bunsen in return for continued fame and stardom.

Back to the Sexina contest. It appears that Sexina’s biggest fan is a local high school student Vera (Kellie Fernald), who is bullied daily by the popular girl Crystal (Cheutine Fong) for being not thin. Not helping the situation, Vera has a crush on Crystal’s boyfriend Zach (Ronald J. Zambor). By writing an essay about being Sexina’s Biggest Fan and obtaining enough signatures from her classmates, Vera must win the Sexina concert contest to find her much needed popularity and self-esteem boost.

Can Sexina find the whereabouts of Dr. Von Bunsen and uncover The Boss’ diabolical plan? Can Lance Canyon find redemption after selling his soul to The Boss? Can Sexina find time for a personal life, while balancing her career as a pop star and private investigator? Will Lauren D’Avella ever walk like a normal human being again after being forced to shove herself into a distinctly, uncomfortable, tight leather, crime-fighting outfit? Find out at the same Bat-Time, same Bat-channel (see the Adam West joke I just did there?).

“…it’s a silly comedy with heart. The heart is important…”

So again, Sexina: Pop Star P.I. is what it is. Primarily, it’s a silly comedy with heart. The heart is important because it’s the only thing that got me through this entire film. Writer/directed Erik Sharkey was clearly not trying to make a serious film and his sense of fun comes through. Even the cast looks like their having fun. He brings the sexy with some well-timed close-up cleavage interstitials, yet never gets raunchy. His jokes are groaners, but not the point of sappy. His characters are rarely politically correct. Not sure how Zach’s pedophile gym coach would play “in this climate.” There’s also several cheesy songs with the late Monkee Davy Jones singing the film’s theme song (not good).

Check out Sexina: Pop Star P.I. at your own risk. You can certainly find a million movies worse than this one. If you’re looking for a brainless, B-movie, indie-comedy, Sexina might be worth checking out. And it has Adam West, too.

Sexina: Pop Star P.I. (2007) Written and directed by Erik Sharkey. Starring Lauren D’Avella, Luis Jose Lopez, Adam West, Kellie Fernald, Ronald J. Zambor.

5.5 out of 10 stars

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