Top Ten Worst Movies I Ever Saw?

[valfarly1]

Lets sift out the waste products of the hollywood system.....

Its time for the "TOP TEN WORST MOVIES I EVER SAW".....

the ones you came out of the cinema thinking to yourself "those hollywood bastards robbed two hours of my like and five bucks and i cant get them back!"

1. Meet Joe Black
2. Dirty Dancing
3. The works of Steven Segal
4. Hurcules in New York
5. Blair Witch 2
6. The Bodyguard
7. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
8. Indecent Proposal
9. An Angel At My Table
10. The Exorcist - (Mark Kermode is an over hyping nonce!)

[Melissa]

You forgot FOREST GUMP and TITANIC!

[AmaiStina]

Some of these films just didnt appeal to me on a personal level, some of them i felt were badly executed.


1. English Patient (the film looked beautiful, but im sorry, you just dont leave kristin scott thomas in the desert. it doesnt matter if you both know youre not coming back).

2. Sabrina (frickin remake)
3. The Truth About Charlie (again..need i really explain why id rather eat my own foot than watch this movie again?)

4. O

5. Count of Monte Cristo (starring Guy Pearce)

6. Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame

7. Attack of the Clones

8. Spiderman (i do have reasons for disliking this film, but i wouldnt be able to explicate those reasons w/o writing a novel).

9. Dr. T & the Women (didnt watch it voluntarily)

10. Die Another Day

[Pete Vonder Haar]

Oh great, I have "Anus Magillicuddy" in my review box. Thanks for the anticipation.

When I think "worst" I think movies that had big budgets and/or big time talent attached and were still steaming piles of crap. To that end:

A Good Man in Africa
Pearl Harbor
Forrest Gump
Face/Off
Broken Arrow
...hell, anything Travolta's done since 1994
The Lost World
Rollerball (2002)
Batman and Robin
Lost in Space
Speed 2
Life is Beautiful

Pete

[AmaiStina]

Originally posted by Pete Vonder Haar
Oh great, I have "Anus Magillicuddy" in my review box. Thanks for the anticipation.

When I think "worst" I think movies that had big budgets and/or big time talent attached and were still steaming piles of crap. To that end:

A Good Man in Africa
Pearl Harbor
Forrest Gump
Face/Off
Broken Arrow
...hell, anything Travolta's done since 1994
The Lost World
Rollerball (2002)
Batman and Robin
Lost in Space
Speed 2
Life is Beautiful

Pete


Face/Off wasnt that unbearable, was it? well, if youre not a Nic Cage nor a Travolta fan, i can imagine the kind of psychological trauma the film can have on a person (especially if you take into consideration the part where they pretend to be each other).

[El Duderino Diablo]

Generally, I try to avoid movies I'm pretty sure I'm going to hate. Sometimes, due to circumstances out of my control, I cannot. This could be kind of difficult seeing as I appear to have developed a mental block to protect myself frm remembering some of the real stinkers I've endured.
Some of the worst I've had to endure in no particular order:
The Cell
MIB 2
Raw Deal
Jason X (a friend left the tape in my home and morbid curiosity got the better of me, really!)
Bride with White Hair II
The Pest
Assassins
Rambo II
The Deep End
Daredevil
The Sixth Sense
I Know What You Did Last Summer
Scream
American Pie
Jurrassic Park II

[Pete Vonder Haar]

"Face/Off" was lots of Cage and Travolta mugging for the camera and blowing shit up real good. Call it personal distaste, but I just didn't like it.

And I forgot "The Goonies." Jesus, I hate that movie.

Pete

[Kuato]

gooonies!?!?!?


Mortal Kombat 2
The League of extrodinary gentelmen
Gangs of New York
Night of the Bloody Transplant
The opening of The Pest ( i assumed the rest was as irritating as the first 5 minutes... i couldnt even leave it on )
Spawn - live action

and i predict - The Haunted Mansion movie, The Punisher, and The Cat in the Hat live action

[Leev66]

Films that should have their negatives destroyed:

Signs
Queen of the Damned
Cool World
Star Wars: Special Edition
The Empire Strikes Back: Special Edition
Reurn of the Jedi: Special Edition
Gladiator
and
Anything Featuring Adam Sandler

[jonnyredman]

There in no order as they should all be destroyed at the same time...

Gone With The Wind
Planet Of The Apes (Burton)
The Full Monty
Fear.Com
The Exorcist II
The Piano
Lara Croft : Tomb Raider
Violent Shit
Sex, Lies & Videotape
Nekromantik 2

[Pete Vonder Haar]

I don't think I've seen "Violent Shit." Is that the one with Cartman's mom?

Pete

[jonnyredman]

You're a lucky man if you've never seen any of Andreas Schnaas & Steve Aquilina's movies...

Shot on video amatuer gorehound nonsense... Chas Balun likes this kind of crap. Would you believe that they're up to part 3 of the Violent Shit series!!?

Violent Shit III review HERE (http://www.geocities.com/evil_spoon/z1999zombiedoom.htm)

[Pete Vonder Haar]

Holy Hannah, how did I miss these?

Looks like I and II are out of print, unfortunately.

Pete - Or fortunately, I guess

[jonnyredman]

These guys also made ZOMBIE 90 : EXTREME PESTILENCE

THE worst dubbed movie in creation!!!

ZOMBIE 90 review HERE (http://classic-horror.com/reviews/zombie90.html)

[MikeWatt]

Part 4, if you can believe it, is the odious NIKOS THE IMPALER.

Mike

[sirius]

Cool Runnings is up there along with Stepmom. The other eight were so bad I forgot them as soon as I saw them.

[MikeWatt]

I don't remember that much T&A when I worked for CFQ, but it was our bread-and-butter at Femme Fatales!

Mike

[BuckyMcSatan]

Mike, I think you're cross posting in some cryptic way...
(either that or this forum is going all topsy turvy)

Wasn't Femme Fatales an offshoot of CFQ? Or did they just snag the design?

Whatever the case, nothing wrong with T&A and monsters. The cornerstone of all good independent film.

[El Duderino Diablo]

Martin Short has an amazing ability to appear in terrible movies that for some odd reason or another I have seen. I blame alcohol.
Pure Luck
Father of the Bride
Three Fugitives
Three Amigos!
Innerspace

[BuckyMcSatan]

Top Ten Worst that memory will allow:

1. About Schmidt.
(I had an anxiety attack waiting for something to happen in this film. After the final scene, I almost snapped the DVD in half.)

2. Showgirls.
(Not an original choice but still a piece of shit.)

3. Anything with Steven Segal, Jean Claude Van Damme or Chuck Norris.

4. Glitter .
(no comment.)

5. Any "Jaws" after the first one .

6. The Four Feathers .
(A friend of mine still owes me for this one.)

7. Solaris .
(Soderbergh, please make another "Schizopolis" I beg you.)

8. Almost everything in the 80's that's ruined by a keyboard synth soundtrack .

9. Anything with Robert Wuhl in it.
(Yes, even Burton's Batman. The man leaves a greasy film of mediocrity on everything he's involved in.)

10. No Such Thing .
(Hal Hartley's quintessential drek-fest.)

[MikeWatt]

Originally posted by Buck Satan
Mike, I think you're cross posting in some cryptic way...
(either that or this forum is going all topsy turvy)

Wasn't Femme Fatales an offshoot of CFQ? Or did they just snag the design?

Whatever the case, nothing wrong with T&A and monsters. The cornerstone of all good independent film.

Yes, for some reason, this was supposed to go to the HATE MAIL thread. Funnily enough, my COOL RUNNINGS post went there instead. Started a whole new wave of insanity! :)

CFQ and Femme Fatales were both started by Frederick S. Clarke. They had an up-and-down run as indie magazines. His widow sold the company (and majorly screwed a number of writers) when she sold the titles to Mark Altman's Mindfire company. Now they're both heading in interesting - and slicker-looking - new directions.

If you drop back to HATE MAIL, there is a possibility that my T&A comment would make more sense. I'm not making any promises, though.

Mike Watt
www.hollywoodisburning.com

[BuckyMcSatan]

Well as a "youngster" I always enjoyed picking those particular mags up as there was really nothing to fill the void in my young heart after "Famous Monsters of Filmland". (More of a film-tech mag but still...)

I always have fond rememberances of those particular publications.

[El Duderino Diablo]

Famous Monsters of Filmland, now that's what (my obsessive/compulsive) childhood was all about.
Pre-adolescence was a minor dabbling in Starlog that eventualy turned into an adolescent infatuation with Fangoria (and Penthouse spin-off Newlook).

I shudder to think of how much I've spent on movie mags during my lifetime. Famous Monsters, Fangoria, Cinefantastique, Starlog, Film Threat, Oriental Cinema, Fade In, Scr(i)pt, American Cinematographer, Movie Maker, Cineaction, Hong Kong Film Connection, Film Comment, Thunder, etc. etc.
Yikes!

[BuckyMcSatan]

Dude - you lookin' forward to this sucker?

[El Duderino Diablo]

Hellyes

[rich]

some of these lists make me long for the day when i used to be able to pick and choose what films i see! as a critic i have to see everything, and that includes all those stinkers i know i'm going to hate even before the lights go down. sigh. sometimes there's a nice surprise. sometimes it's worse than i could possibly imagine. here are the 10 worst films i've seen so far THIS YEAR, in descending order of awfulness...

1. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
2. Gigli
3. Uptown Girls
4. National Security
5. S Club: Seeing Double
6. The Hot Chick
7. A Guy Thing
8. Double Whammy
9. Otherworld
10. Stealing Harvard

[Cid]

I just wrote out a fairly long post explaining why I hate "Garbage Pail Kids: The movie" above and beyond all films on earth, but somehow I managed to delete the entire thing...I'll just say this:

"Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie" is the worst thing I have ever paid to see at a theatre/drive-in. There may be worse movies out there, but none of them have ever actually made me sick; this one did. (And I've seen some sick shit, it's not that I have a weak stomach. It's that this movie has the aura of SHITTY itself all about it that made me ill.)

[Adam Hackbarth]

5. Blair Witch Part II - "Who are the ad wizards that came up with this one?"
4. - Urban Legends: Final Cut - The writer should be covered in poo.
3. - The Exorcist II - apparently people thought we wanted to see more Linda Blair. HAHA!
2. - Superman IV - The Quest for Peace

1. - Grease - I hate this movie! Why? Every time I bring this movie up as one of my least favorites, people always tell me "I bought that for my daughter and she just loves it."

WHAT!? What happens in Grease? A clean cut girl wants to get a guy so she starts smoking, dresses like a slut and FINALLY they celebrate and dance into the sunset. That is totally messed up. Yeah... have your 12 year old girl watch that one. Go ahead.

[mruzick3]

Well, I'm not a paid critic so many of my choices redeemed themselves by being bad choices when I saw free movies at the theatre that I worked in for a few years:

-Born Yesturday: I actually fell asleep during this one. I didn't think that was possible.

-The Craft: You can trace a lot of WB influenced crap on screen and on TV from this poor excuse for entertainment.

-Congo: I'm surprised this hasn't been listed yet. But then again, it's just that forgettable.

-The Doors: Another one I almost fell asleep through. Which bring me to my next choice...

-Natural Born Killers: I really, really hated this one. Not because of the violence....it was just the most OBVIOUS comment Oliver Stone could ever make about violence. (see Salvador for a better comment)

-From Dusk 'til Dawn: Puhleeese give me a break!! I was bored half to death. Also an indicator that Tarantino is better read than seen.

Daredevil: I just rented this one. I knew it was bad when Ben's voice-over started after the opening credits. Cheesy.

Anything by Troma: I know, I know...I'm supposed to hate these so much that I like them. However, I just can't bring myself to waste 85 min to see people run around with rubber masks. Sorry, I just refuse to be THAT much of a geek.

Any musical made then or now: Why.....why in the hell are we bringing this back. I knew I was going to marry my wife when she told me she hated musicals.

There are more but I can't afford to waste any more time or money on crap. That's why I'm not a paid critic....but I love to read the bad reviews.

_______________________________________________
Mike Ruzicka

[PinkDreamPoppie]

I'm less annoyed by bad movies that everyone acknowledges as being bad (Freddy Got Fingered, Battlefield Earth, etc.) as those movies that I know will linger about with the label of "critics' darlings" but which, I feel, are pretentious and/or pointless.

That said, here's my Top Ten, but not in any order:

- Clerks
- Pulp Fiction
- Boogie Nights
- Goodfellas
- Saving Private Ryan
- A Clockwork Orange
- I Stand Alone
- Adaptation
- The Maltese Falcon

Okay, so nine specifics and one generalization:

- Movies that are "ironic" or "self-aware."

[mellamo andy]

10) Saving Private Ryan
9) Chain Reaction
8) Broken Arrow
7) The Blair Witch Project
6) Final Destination
5) Independence Day
4) Hulk
3) D. W. Griffith's Tolerance
2) Metropolis (80's version with LoverBoy soundtrack)
1) Any movie that made me want every character to die.

I know I'm forgetting a few, I probably have mentally blocked-out some of them.

[Ricky Retardo]

Liquid Sky...this was like a minor cult phenom in the early 80's but I thought it was stupid, stilted and had a HUGELY annoying soundtrack.

The Blues Brothers...HEY! let's get a huge budget, do lots of cocaine and suck the souls out of a bunch of legendary R&B artists.

Erin Brockovich-Julia Roberts won the award for running around, sticking her breasts out and telling everybody off? Proof positive to me that Soderbergh has always been vastly overrated.

Boogie Nights-I love porn. I hated this movie (except for the scene where they were ripping off the dealer).

Don't Tell Mom The Babysitters Dead-I saw this stoned as shit on a free pass and STILL had a deeply negatve reaction to it.

Oh my gawd, what was the name of that movie where faggy Rupert Everett "accidentally" knocks up Madonna? They say that "Swept Away" is worse. I shudder to think that's true.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off-That Ferris was such an arrogant bastard that I always rooted for Rooney.

The Breakfast Club-There's NO WAY that would have happened at my high school.

Trouble In Mind-That's the one with Chevy Chase, Dan Ackroyd and Demi Moore right? Who thought THAT was a good idea?

Digimon The Movie-My then 6 year old daughter asked me to take her to see this. Simply Excrutiating

[AmaiStina]

Originally posted by mruzick3
Any musical made then or now: Why.....why in the hell are we bringing this back. I knew I was going to marry my wife when she told me she hated musicals.

thats gonna leave a mark. ;)

i love musicals. most musicals. specific musicals from the 50s & 60s. (mostly the Stanley Donen ones). i like them precisely b/c dance numbers are magically known to all pertinent cast members & that people have to sing to express themselves.

i was brought up on musicals & james bond..so theres probably psychological/developmental reasons why i like them so much.

[Reverend Ned]

Originally posted by Ricky Retardo
Trouble In Mind-That's the one with Chevy Chase, Dan Ackroyd and Demi Moore right? Who thought THAT was a good idea?

The film was called "Nothing but Trouble", which is noteworthy for the appearance of hip-hop group Digital Underground... back when Tupac Shakur was still with the group. I'm convinced that somewhere in hell, 2pac is forced to watch this film for all eternity.