Master & Commander

[filmfan]

Okay, which idiot came up with the idea of casting Russell Crowe as Patrick O'Brian's Captain "Lucky" Jack Aubrey in the film "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World"? With his bleached-blonde hair tied in a sloppy ponytail, a chunky torso in need of several weeks of Atkins Diet discipline, and a coarse Australian accent, Crowe is the least likely British naval officer to sail the cinematic seas since Marlon Brando in "Mutiny on the Bounty."

Well, that "idiot" would be Peter Weir. And if the reviewer had taken the time to glance at a copy of one of O'Brian's books he would know that "Lucky" Jack Aubrey was nicknamed "Goldilocks" because of his long blonde hair. He was also a rather portly man, though Russell Crowe did not weigh the 17 stone that Aubrey grew to be.

And further research would have led the reviewer to find that the accent used by Russell Crowe as Captain Aubrey was well researched and completely valid.

I didn't bother reading the rest of the review because the author had already lost all credibility.

Cheers.

[Ricky Retardo]

Well I dunno...ol' RC does look pretty rock starrish in the trailers. Kinda makes me wanna pre-judge the movie myself. That and the fact that despite the trailers making the movie look like a slam-bang epic, it's been my experience that Peter Weir films tend to actually be long and boring. I mean that well though, because while I do think he makes "good" films, they can be kind of excrutiating to me. I just can't casually watch a Peter Weir film, I have to be in the mood (which truthfully, I seldom am).

[groudon]

Because she falls asleep in the movies all the time, usually 30 minutes into a movie, unless the movie deals with a man being unfaithful to a woman. This Phil Hall guy, whatsamattah with this guy? He gave the "Turkish Star Wars" and "Ben Hur", like, 5 stars apiece. I can't imagine staying awake through "Ben Hur" or watching hairy Turkish guys shooting at each other with blaster rifles my pastey friend. Maybe Hall is just jealous that Crowe can be fat and get women, while he, the reviewer, can only be fat and get ringworm. Is that abusive? Fuggitaboutit. Reviewer, review thyself. That said, I haven't seen the movie yet. Heh heh.

[Phil Hall]

Feedback on feedback:

Crowe's accent in the film is Australian, not English. He sounds wrong for the part.

I know that O'Brian's character is chubby. At least Crowe properly fills out this aspect of the character on screen--but the idea of watching him blubber about the film is less than heroic. And the bleached blonde hair looks patently phony and is worn in a style that is not 1805 Royal Navy.

"Turkish Star Wars" and the animated "Ben Hur" are engaging, fast-moving and compelling entertainments. This flick is a big bore.

Peter Weir has made great films. This is not one of them.

[metaphor]

It seems to me that a movie made from a series of novels that have achieved cult status-- over 4 decades!- would deserve a review by someone who had *at least* read the books.

Nowhere in that dismal review was there any indication that the reviewer had any idea of the context of the plot or characters. The reviewer's comments come across (to me, at least) as one of the reasons Hollywood produces so many mindless Blockbuster Epics. Hmpf.

[anthonyvolpe]

Originally posted by Phil Hall
Okay, which idiot came up with the idea of casting Russell Crowe as Patrick O'Brian's Captain "Lucky" Jack Aubrey in the film "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World"? With his bleached-blonde hair tied in a sloppy ponytail, a chunky torso in need of several weeks of Atkins Diet discipline, and a coarse Australian accent, Crowe is the least likely British naval officer to sail the cinematic seas since Marlon Brando in "Mutiny on the Bounty."

Jack Aubrey weighed 17 stone and had blonde hair. The idiot who cast Russell Crowe in the role obviously read the book first.

Originally posted by Phil Hall
It seems as if every possible cliche and story twist from any seafaring picture of the past 80 years made its way into this flick (the storm at sea, the cannon battle, the us-versus-them conflicts between officers and ship crew).

These "chichés" were commonplace during the Age of Sail.

Originally posted by Phil Hall
There are also a few new silly twists added including an anachronistic pitstop at the Galapagos Islands to take credit for Charles Darwin's work and endless in-the-ribs/between-the-shoulder blades bickering between Captain Aubrey and the ship's surgeon Stephen Maturing (played with prickly indifference by Paul Bettany) that makes the men seem as ridiculous as the old queens played by Rex Harrison and Richard Burton in "Staircase."

Prickly indifference is what happens when you fall asleep during one of the best films of the year and fill your subsequent review with fat jokes and inaccuracies.

Originally posted by Phil Hall
All that is missing is the white whale, although Crowe's waistline suggests he was trying to fill that nautical void for us.

Read. The. Book. Jack. Aubrey. Was. Overweight. In. The. Book. Too.

Originally posted by Phil Hall
Had I been able to pay more attention to this hopelessly boring movie, there would be more insults and putdowns flung at those responsible for this mess. The fact that I didn't bother to pay attention is, I fear, even more insulting than any wisecrack derived from watching the screen.

And it suggests that you can't review a movie objectively. I hate Russell Crowe's guts and I still think this is one of the best films of the year. The person who sat next to me in the theater read nearly 20 of Patrick O'Brian's books and still loved this movie.

Don't get me wrong, you're entitled to your opinion. Unfortunately it's hard to respect that opinion when you have to resort to EXTREMELY forced negative spin to get your point across.

[Phil Hall]

Comment on the O'Brian books: I am reviewing a movie, not the books. From what I read, the film took more liberties with the book than I stated in the review (including changing the nationality of the phantom ship from American to French and having one of the characters commit suicide on screen when he is murdered in the book).

I am glad that O'Brian had no problem making a heavy man as his hero, but what worked on page did not translate on screen.

[kevinpmurray]

Originally posted by Phil Hall
I am glad that O'Brian had no problem making a heavy man as his hero, but what worked on page did not translate on screen.

clearly you would prefer a Hollywood stud in the part of the movie. Is this because he would be able to be more agile? or is it because you are hoping thats at some point the main man will take off his shirt so you can have a look at his rippling muscles. I think that Crowe is a very weatherbeaten and roughskinned man, ideal for the part of this character. obviously, Weir new that making the character from the book the weight he was in the book would not work, thats why he gave Crowe a weight limit. Yes thats right, he had to put on the weight to look the part. Obviously, to me at least, you are a stuck-up, over-critical dickhead.

Sorry for being so brutally honest.
No doubt you will try to argue your point to me further or come out with a `witty' remark to get back at my comment, but frankly my dear, i don't give a damn.

[Phil Hall]

Originally posted by kevinpmurray

Sorry for being so brutally honest.
No doubt you will try to argue your point to me further or come out with a `witty' remark to get back at my comment, but frankly my dear, i don't give a damn.

Actually, that makes two of us.:D

[kevinpmurray]

True sign of defeat...quoting .|.. :D

[maturin]

Originally posted by Phil Hall
There are also a few new silly twists added including an anachronistic pitstop at the Galapagos Islands to take credit for Charles Darwin's work

And this is a completely silly interpretation of the Galapagos episode.

First of all, a number of ships visited the Galapagos before the Beagle, Darwin's ship. It doesn't stretch credulity that one of those ships could have had a naturalist on board--particularly during the Age of Exploration, when being an amateur naturalist was a common pastime of the educated classes and when ships frequently carried scientists/naturalists. Having the Surprise visit the Galapagos with Maturin onboard is no more anachronistic than anything else in this work of historical fiction.

And where is the taking credit for Charles Darwin's work? Since you admit you slept through the film, you must have dreamed that part. I sure didn't see Maturin busily scribbling the "Origin of the Species" at any point.

Poor Maturin was lucky if he even got one new species to describe.

In having Maturin visit the Galapagos, O'Brian and Weir weren't trying to rewrite history. But they were having a bit of fun with it while paying homage to spirit of scientific exploration that exemplified the age.

They were also having affectionate fun with Maturin--the avid naturalist that gets soooo close to the immense discoveries waiting in the Galapagos but just not close enough. For those of us who are closet naturalists ourselves or who simply have the imagination to empathize with Maturin, there is a bittersweet humor about it all.

In the end, I have to say that your review has to be one of the least insightful and intelligent I've read--even of the negative ones. It appears you took the lazy route of ridicule rather than thoughtful criticism.

[Phil Hall]

Originally posted by maturin
They were also having affectionate fun with Maturin--the avid naturalist that gets soooo close to the immense discoveries waiting in the Galapagos but just not close enough. For those of us who are closet naturalists ourselves or who simply have the imagination to empathize with Maturin, there is a bittersweet humor about it all.

In the end, I have to say that your review has to be one of the least insightful and intelligent I've read--even of the negative ones. It appears you took the lazy route of ridicule rather than thoughtful criticism.

The bits about the flightless cormorant and the swimming iguana were clearly swipes at Darwin and the concept of the evolution. There is no sense being thoughtful in describing lazy anarchronistic humor.

Even less surprising was the discovery that Maturin made at the far end of the island.

[maturin]

Hm. First you claim they were trying to "take credit" for Darwin's work and now you claim they were taking a swipe at it.

Interesting.

[dk9]

chunky torso
Look at Phil Hall while he was in Darwin, Australia - of all places.

http://www.gingerroot.com/oztrip/darwin/phil.jpg

Har Har.